Why do people find it difficult to give up and move on?
I was thinking about this question as I was listening to one of those FM channels that dot the radiowaves in Batavia. The RJ had made some comments about Farmers and one Farmer named Terry called up to protest the RJs comment. Despite RJ professing his innocence, Terry held his ground and argued that just as he was offended by RJs comments, there will be many farmers who would have felt offended listening to the RJ, eventhough RJ was innocently making the comments.
Finally RJ gave in and apologized.
Well, that should have been the end, except it wasn't.
Soon after the song got over, RJ made another comment and said that he hoped that someone else wouldn't feel outraged at his new comment.
Why did he have to say that?
He had already apologized. But in his mind he was still the victim of someone's over sensitive ego. Even after the new song, while he was in the 'Temporal Present', he was still living in the 'Psychological Past'.
Reminded me of this famous story which goes like this.
Two celibate Buddhist Monks are walking in the forest when they come across a stream which was hip deep. On this side of the stream a beautiful woman was standing wearing a pretty dress. On seeing the monks, she ran up to them and asked if they could help her.
"What is the problem?" asked one of the monks.
"I am getting married today on the other side of this stream. I am wearing this expensive wedding dress, if I cross the stream like this, my dress will get wet. Can you lift me on your shoulders and help me cross the river?" the woman asked
To the utter dismay of his partner, the monk readily agreed.
The woman took off her clothes and sat on the monk's shoulder. As the crossed the river, the woman got down, wore her dress, thanked the monks and ran off into the town.
As the monks were walking to the monastry, the dismayed monk asked his friend. "How could you do this? Our teachings tell us to avoid contact with women. And you carried a naked woman across the stream? You should be feeling guilty?"
The other monk did not answer.
After some time, the dismayed monk again said, "You have violated the teachings. Don't you feel guilty? We are not even supposed to look at women and yet you carried that naked woman across the stream?"
Again the other monk was silent.
After some time again the dismayed monk asked, "Our teachings proscribe us from even looking at women.Yet you allowed the naked body of a woman to touch you. Don't you feel that you have violated our tenets?"
This time the monk who carried the woman replied, "I have already let her down at the stream. Why are you still carrying her?"
Many people are like that, they still carry naked women on their shoulders. When we keep negative feelings to cloud our mind, we are blocking out the positiveness from coming in.
Learn to give up things that are not important, that are not worthwhile... you are far too important a person to fill your mind with less important things. Give up bad emotions, bad experiences and let good ideas and positive experience come in.
Let go of the woman on your shoulders. Let go of Terry the farmer....