Learning to say 'Yes'

"Will you marry me?"

"Mr.Ram, our client has an opportunity that will catapult your career. However, it will involve you relocating to another country for four years at least. We will provide everything you require. Are you interested?

"I know that I hurt your feelings. Can you forgive me?"

"You need a risky surgery immediately. Can you sign this no indemnity certificate?"

"Do you want to learn French?"

What are common with all these questions?

One, they are all difficult decisions with far reaching implications. Two, best answer is 'Yes'

Traditional wisdom advises you to 'Learn to say No'. But as the above questions show, saying 'Yes' is very difficult.

Saying 'Yes' is far more difficult than saying 'No'.

Why?

Saying 'No' maintains status quo. It doesn't have any other ramifications.

Saying 'Yes' is fraught with risk, uncertainty, long-term impact, potential happiness, potential regret, change...

Given a situation where 'Yes' is expected, we try to delay and buy time to read up more, to discuss with family ....

We stall. We hesitate to say 'Yes'.

Sometimes desperation forces us to say 'Yes'. I have a friend who lost his job in the middle of the nineties. He was desperately looking for a job. As luck would have it, an acquaintance was starting the dealership of a car polishing solution. He was given a chance to become a franchisee.  In his desperation he said 'Yes' to to this opportunity.

He had zero experience in running a company. But he soldiered on. in his first year, the company had two employees including himself. In the first year his business had a revenue of 2000 Dollars

Today his business employs over 140 people and clocks 2 Million dollars a year.

"I was very scared of starting a business. Had I got a job offer, I would never have got into the business", he tells me.

Why wait till we are desperate before saying 'Yes'? Why we wait to say 'Yes' till it is the only option available? 

Another friend, an accountant by profession, took a year of unpaid sabbatical to produce and direct a movie. He invested his own money. 

"I wanted to follow my passion", he told me.

Today he heads the India Consulting arm of a Fortune 50 US Multinational. 

Despite his achievements, he is proud of his coveted membership in the IMPPA (Indian Motion Picture Producers Association) and get invites for all the glitzy Bollywood award programs. 

He decided to say 'Yes' to a risky opportunity. 

Then there are cases of people were scared to say 'Yes'.

Back in 2003, when I was working for an IT Company in Bangalore, I met Suresh in the Office. He was my colleague in my previous company which was a major steel maker in India. I had said 'Yes' to a major career change in the year 2000 to move from Manufacturing Industry to IT Industry and from the security of a government job to the risks of a job in the private sector. 

Suresh told me that he left our previous organization and has joined my current company. I was very happy for him. I assured him that it was the right decision.

Three months later I met him again. He told me that he is going back to his previous employer.

"My family is pressurizing me to move back to a government job", he told me.

I implored him to stay back. I tried to show him the long view where he would have relocated to US and be earning salary that the government company could never match.

He left anyway. He said 'No' to an awesome opportunity. 

I felt very sad. We were very close. 

Unfortunately most of the people I know opted for 'No' when offered new opportunities. Some of them never even looked around for opportunities. 

Decades later, they are doing the same job, experiencing the same experience day after day, year after year.

In the movie 'Yes Man', Jim Carey character decide to say 'Yes' to any opportunity for the next one year.
One year later, he is a changed man, more experienced, wiser...

Author John Maxwell says that most people spend time 'Running away from what they fear". That is saying 'NO'.

He suggests that "Instead people should run towards what they are afraid of". In other words say 'Yes'.

Mark the number of times you say 'No' in a day as against 'Yes'. I bet that former is a predominant response.

In 2016, I decided to follow Jim Carey and say 'Yes' to any new opportunity that came my way. Almost immediately I got an opportunity to work in an area that was evolving and about which I had no idea. This involved IFRS15 (hearing it for the first time) and Oracle Revenue Management. I was supposed to learn the concepts and the product in just two weeks and deliver a corporate training.

In my previous avatar my responses would have been filled with Ifs and Buts and Risk Mitigation Strategies and I don't haves (experience, knowledge, not my area etc)...

I said 'Yes' since I was the 'Yes Man'. I decided that I will make it work.

Fast forward two years, I became one of the few experts in that area. I did multiple corporate trainings to leading companies, did one implementation and traveled abroad and had a lot of fun.

That is the power of Saying 'Yes'.

Decide to start saying 'Yes' from today. Studies show that people are more happier 6 months after they say 'Yes' to change.

Will you start saying 'Yes' from today?

If this post inspires you to take action, let all of us know.

Passing away of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala

There was a sad news on Sunday 14th of August. In the morning Rakesh Jhunjhunwala (RJ) called the 'big bull of Sensex' or the 'doyen of Indian stock market' passed away at Mumbai Breach Candy Hospital. He was obese and was suffering from high blood pressure and diabetes for a long time.

RJ Started investing in the market in the mid-80s came off on his own in the early 90. Either individually or through his company Rare Enterprises, he was an early investor in many of the current blue chips like Titan, Karur Vysya bank and others.

Millions of retail investors follow him and make buy-sell decisions based on whether he bought or sold stakes in a company.

This article is not about stocks or Investments even though you cannot separate them from RJ as a person. It is about personal change.

Change can be of two types; minor change is like changing the route you normally take to the office or ordering something different in restaurant that you go regularly (that's a big one for me)

Major changes affect the direction and flow of your normal life. They could include changing your job or relocating to a new city, marriage, divorce, birth of your child etc.

Or, starting a new airline, if you were RJ

RJ has always been an investor who invested in shares of company and grew his wealth as the company moved from start-up to small cap to Midcap to large cap and finally to becoming a blue chip.

In his book ‘The cashflow quadrant’, author Robert Kiyosaki, discusses four sources of wealth. He calls them EBSI. E stands for Employee, who earns income through salary. S stands for self-employed Professional, like doctor, freelancer etc. B stands for business owner, and I stand for investor. The investor (I) creates wealth investing in businesses created by business owner (B).

All these days RJ remained an investor. In the meantime, his colleagues who started investing almost at the same time as RJ, had gone on to establish highly successful business enterprises. For example, his compatriot Radhakrishnan Damani created a highly successful retail chain DMart, that he launched in the market recently. The share price of the company has grown five-fold since launch (IPO).

RJ must have felt an emptiness somewhere. He decided to start a business.

I don't know what it is with these Indian Businessmen, whenever they have cash the first business that day think of is Airlines. Vijay Mallya did it, owner of a successful company wanted to do it (investors brutally punished this move by almost halving the market price of the shares of his company. It is yet to touch its earlier high) ...

Globally Airlines have been a loss-making industry since Inception. The high level of competition, government oversight, price conscious passengers, high employee acquisition and retention costs, all of which makes it a perennial loss-making industry.

But Indian Businessman can't have enough of it.

Maybe it is Katrina Kaif modelling for Kingfisher that did it. Who knows?

RJ decided to start his airline company, he named it Akasa - Sanskrit word for Sky - airlines. The airline completed its Maiden flight on 7th of August. Many newspapers published pictures of a jubilant Rakesh ji travelling in the maiden flight. Flight was from Mumbai to Ahmedabad. On 14th August, airline had its first flight from Bangalore to Kochi.

By then RJ had left for his heavenly Abode.

As I said before, he passed away early morning on the 14th.

I was sitting in my hotel room in Ahmedabad when I read the news on twitter.

Starting a new airline was a major change for RJ.

Culturally Indians are wary of major changes. They strive for the security of the predictable. The belief is that major changes almost never come alone, they come in threes. In Malayalam they say 'onnu thottal moonnu', meaning 'if it happens once, then it will happen thrice'. They know that the first major change is under their control,but unpredictability of the remaining two makes them wary of changing anything.

There is this story of an Indian businessman who continued construction of his house because an Astrologer told him that as soon as he finishes construction he will pass away. His house was an eternal work in progress.

He passed away anyway.

Now we come to the end of the story.

Launching an airline was the first change for RJ. This was followed by unfortunate event.

I guess the third change is for his family not to have him at  the breakfast table.

One final unrelated thought.

RJ passed away on the 14th. 15th August was a holiday.

On Tuesday 16th of August, the market closed up by 200 points.

Was it a mark of respect for RJ or was market showing who is the boss? 

Two types of leadership

 These days I occasionally go cycling around South Bangalore. In these dawning peregrinations I come across many different things.

There are two groups of stray dogs that I see occasionally. I am always impressed by their difference.

One group is always calm and composed. It is led by a big male dog, visibly passive and most of the times silent. It ignores most of the 'noise' around it. Passing vehicles, honking horns, cyclists, cows.. nothing impacts its composure.

It never barks but commands a kind of allegiance from the other dogs in the group. All of them are calm and well in control.

But if they perceive real danger or intrusion, the leader is first off the pack, leading it from the front and ensuring that the pack is protected.

 

Looking at the leader, I am always reminded of Dr.MMS. He too was calm and composed almost to the point of perceived as being passive. He learned to ignore the 'noise', all the dirt that his opponents and even those in his party threw at him.

 

He looked pliable but when it really mattered. like during the Indo US Nuclear Deal or handling of the Global Recession, he was aggressive and on top of things. 

The other pack is lead by a noisy and jumpy leader. He is always agitated, always barking and always nervous and neurotic. He seems to believe that noise is the same as action. A car passing by, the entire pack will run after it all barking and yelping, a passing cow is enough to excite the leader.

They invariably bark at passing bikers. But if any biker stops and get off his bike, he and the pack will run helter skelter.

Just like the leader, the pack is also jumpy and neurotic. They seem to perceive that everyone is their enemy and they believe that noise substitutes action.

And one more thing. Since the first pack is stable, they are also healthy. Since the second pack is nervous and jumpy, they are always running around looking for food and get into fights as they encroach the territory of other packs.

The groups are almost identical in every respect. Only difference is the temperament and priorities of the leader of the pack.

Seven Games People Should Play

In the book 'Games people play', author Dr.Eric Berne talks about the various emotional games people play in their transactions. All the games are harmful to the relationship and weakens it over time. 

This article is the reverse, here I am talking about the various games that people should play to get the best outcome for themselves in the long-term. People take years to learn these and by the time they do, they find that they have already missed the bus.

This article is for everyone who are struggling in their life and their career. It covers almost all of us. These are the advises that I would have loved to get at a young age.

The main benefit of these games is that you can start on these games any time. The results will almost immediately start showing. 

Articles that I read in June 2019

14-June-2019

Today I read a good article titled ‘Eight ways to read books you wish you had time for’. This article is written by Neil Pasricha in HBR.org. He makes an incredible point that every day an average person reads about 100000 words, equal to one book a day, through paper, blogs and other online resources.

Neil used to read about five books a year as recently as three years ago. Then he read 50 books and last year he read 100 books.

The article is very insightful with a lot of linkages to other online resources. The eight points are as follows.

1. Live inside the world of books: Surround yourself with books. Read physical books as much as possible. Do not go for online books since the linkages can take you off-track.
2. Go red in the bed: Use red light to read at night. This increases the serotonin levels and encourages sleep.
3. Make your phone less addictive: They are designed to make you want to hold them in hand. Fight the tendency
4. Use Dewey Decimal System to organize your library: It helps you find gaps in your book list
5. Solve the ‘Next Book Dilemma’: Use resources like Booktube to make a ‘Playlist’ of books that you want to read. Have a discipline to read only from books that are on that list. Do not put junk into that list. The entry in that list should be well thought out. The books in that list should help you evolve and grow as a person.
6. Unfollow all news: Political scientist Herbert Simon says that ‘Information consumes attention. A wealth of information leads to a poverty of attention. There are two articles linked here. One is ‘Why you should stop reading news’ on Farnam Street Blog and the other is ‘Five things you notice when you quit the news’ one ‘Raptitude’
7. Read on Something that doesn’t do anything else. Read physical books as discussed earlier. Let the article do not ask you to click on different links and take you on a rambling journey till you forget where you started.
   
8. Talk to local book store owner: They will help you identify books based on your emotional state and needs.

This is a very good article. Loved reading it.

16-June-2019

Today I read another article by Neil Pasricha. The is a companion article to the one by the same author that I had read two days ago. That article was titled ‘8 Ways to read 100 books in a year’. This article was written in 2017 and is titled ‘8 ways to read (a lot) more books this year’. The 8 ways are:

1. Centralize reading in your home: Prioritize reading in the home. Instead of TV, have books in your main room and relegate TV to the remote room. He talks of the poem ‘Television’ by Roald Dahl
   
2. Make public commitment about your reading. Commit to send two short reviews every weekend
3. Find a few trusted curated lists:
4.  Change your mindset about quitting: Don’t feel bad about quitting reading a book midway. Consider it as an opportunity to read better books. Neil does the ‘First Five Pages Test’.
5. Get out of reading news: The shorter choppier nature of the articles is preventing us from going deep into a particular book.
6. Triple your churn rate: Keep your library moving. Add a few books and throw away a few books regularly. Your library should be dynamic.
7. Read physical books
8. Reapply the 10000 step rule. Read five hours a day. Use the hours and minutes hidden in the day to read book. The example given is of Stephen King who used to read while standing in line for a movie and even during movie.

A reasonably good article.

17-June-2019

Read and article by Tim Urban, titled ‘The Tail End’. It talks about how many years / months / weeks / days you got in your live and makes some projections. For example, I am now 56. If I live up to 85, I have about 30 years of life left. On an average I read 15 books in a year which means that in my life span, I am only going to read 450 more books.

I can extend this further. I will watch around 300 movies, write a maximum of 25 more books,

Also as you grow older, you will be losing friends and are not making any new friends.

So cherish the friendships you have.

The key message is Prioritize your life. Do not leave. Plan your weeks. Every new week opens possibilities. Every new week is a blank canvas, where you can plan your greatest accomplishment.

You must make weekly resolutions instead of yearly resolutions.

It is a great idea.

19-June-2019

Today I watched a video by Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert Comics, on his tips for writing. The following are the tips.

Tip #1: How do you know that your topic is good: Does it make you feel anything? Match the audience. Write for audience, writer for an invisible friend, especially when writing humour.

Tip #2: Write for the reader, not for yourself

Tip #3: First sentence should evoke curiosity. Adams first sentence is often provocative

Tip #4: Pace and lead the reader. Try to feel and try to be like the reader.

Tip #5: Use direct sentence. Say ‘The boy hit the ball’ and not ‘The ball was hit by the boy’

Tip #6: No jargon, adjectives, adverbs or cliches. Imagine that someone is going to offer 100 rupees for every word that you can remove. There are many words that you can remove. There are many things that you as a writer thinks is important. Reader is going to be removing all these words anyway..

Tip #7:Brevity = Brilliance

Tip #8: Use sixth grade vocabulary. Use simple words

Tip #9: Musicality, percussion. Letters have tone and tenor. The sentences should be musical.

Tip #10: Avoid ugly words like moist, talk etc. Use nice words instead.

Tip #11: Consider Association. They are powerful. However be careful of over-association or wrong association. It is very important to ensure consistency when using associations. Writer should be very careful not to associate a person with ‘Hard as nails’ in one place and ‘Soft as snow’ in another place in the same book. Sometimes people make wrong associations like saying ‘I like babies and automatic weapons’

Tip #12: Use visual language. Check out ‘Mcgurk effect’ for more details

Tip #13: Violate a norm. There should be something about your writing that makes the reader uncomfortable

Tip #14: End clever or provocative

Tip #15: Write everyday. If  you plan to be a writer and not writing everyday, you are not taking your writing seriously.

Adams also has a formula for humour writing. Use at least two of the following six humour dimensions to make a joke, the more the better. The six dimensions are clever, naughty, Bizarre, Cruel, Cute and Recognizable.

If you can work at least three of the above, it is good.

Clever: Play on words

Naughty:

Bizarre: Things that are out of place

Cruel: Like ‘Meisel talked about her husband’

Cute: Kids and animals (Calvin and Hobbes)

Recognizable:

21-June-2019

Today I read a good article by Zat Rana in Quartz Magazine. The article was titled ‘The difference between intelligence and wisdom and how to acquire both’. Author says that wisdom lies in knowing that you are not wise. Intelligence is associated with knowing something and applying that knowledge in a specific context. While wisdom lies in ‘knowing’, wisdom lies in ‘understanding’ something. Wisdom has more dimensions and can be applied in a broader context. 

The distinction between knowing and understanding is important. Knowing is factual. Understanding is more fluid. When you know, you will apply your knowledge to specific context. When you understand, you will apply your knowledge to different contexts. When you understand you see the bigger picture.

Intelligence has ‘specific utility’ while wisdom inspires ‘flexible versatility’. Every time you have a perspective shift you gain knowledge. As a result, the mind changes regards to that specific knowledge. So you will approach that task differently in future.

Wisdom goes beyond. With wisdom you not only learn a specific thing and its association, you learn a broader contextual lesson, which can be applied to different situations. That will come only with understanding. Knowledge is best leveraged when it is connected to other sets of knowledge.

Knowledge is knowing more of the same thing. Wisdom expands on it and links different ‘Knowledge Packets’ together. Wisdom creates the inter-linkages of different sets of knowledge packets for a ‘grand association’.

That is where you consider the nuance and where the respect of complexity comes in. Wisdom is where specialized information finds its flexibility.

In summary, intelligence is an additional knowledge that changes your perspective about a specific set of knowledge. Wisdom is the integration of a new knowledge with the knowledge of an unrelated set of ‘Knowledges’. Just by knowing this difference you are not going to become wise, but the first step is to understand that ‘there is a difference’ and understand ‘the difference.

I am already wise.

How do we find our inner treasure...

Let me ask you something, dear reader. What is common between Da Vinci Code, the Sound of Silence and The Alchemist?

Da Vinci Code (as you know) is a novel written by Dan Brown. It starts off with the murder of the curator of Louvre Museum, Jacques Sauniere, who is found shot inside the museum with a paper in his hand that says "P.S Find Robert Langdon". Looking at the letter, French Police suspects that the murder was committed by the world famous Symbologist 'Robert Langdon'. Langdon is called to look into the case. 

In the meantime Sophie Neveu, a French Police Cryptographer who is assigned to the case informs Langdon that the murdered person, Sauniere was her grandfather. He used to call her 'Princes Sophie' and the P S in the letter was not 'Post Script' as police thought, but it was meant for her. It was a way of the murdered man asking her to get in touch with Langdon.

Langdon and Sophie work on this case and the work takes them all over the world in search of Holy Grail which was considered to be the reason of the murder. After a lot of adventures, finally they realize that the secret that they were looking for was right in Paris in the Louvre museum itself. 

That was Da Vinci Code. Now to 'The Sound of Silence'.

You may not have heard of this beautiful book. This is written by the Japanese author Katrina Goldsaito. This is the story of a Japanese boy Yoshio. While walking in the streets of Tokyo, he sees a 'Koto' player playing melodious music. At the end of the performance, Yoshio tells the Koto player that 'that was the most beautiful sound he had heard'.

The old Koto player tells him that the most beautiful sound is Ma, the sound of silence between words. 

Yoshio goes everywhere in search of silence. He goes to the park and listens to the chirping of birds. He goes to different parts of the city in search of silence, but he couldn't find it anywhere.

Dejected he comes home and starts reading a book. He is so immersed in the story that he suddenly 'hears' the sound of silence. It was there at his home all the time. He was wasting his time outside when 'Sound of Silence' was right there in front of him all this while.

And finally, 'The Alchemist'

The book The Alchemist, written by Paolo Coelho, tells the story of an Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago. Santiago has recurring dreams of a hidden treasure that he should go in search of. He talks to an Oracle (Why not SAP, just kidding...) about his dream and the Oracle suggests that the treasure is in Egypt, in Cairo, below the pyramids. 

So Santiago sells his sheep and starts his long journey in search of his treasure. The book tells the story of his multi-year journey as he travels the world doing different jobs till he makes it to Egypt. There his robbed by a group of bandits. The leader of the bandits tells him that the treasure he is seeking is at his village.

So Santiago makes his long journey back to his village. In his village there is a dilapidated church. He digs up the church and discovers the hidden treasure.

That is the book The Alchemist. 

What is common between all the three books is that the lead characters in the books go all over in search of a treasure and finally find that the treasure was always with them. The treasure was right in front of them all this time. Only they refused to look inward.

'They' were the treasure they were looking for.

It happens to all of us. Our entire life is a journey in search of our treasures. We are always looking 'outside' for the treasure. We look for it in our jobs. We don't find them. We look for it in our successive promotions. We don't find them. We look in our boss's approval, our salary, our customer's satisfaction, in all the places that we visit, all the beaches that we go to relax, in the clubs, hotels...

Even in our homes.

But we don't find our treasure. Do you know why?

We don't even know what we are searching for. We are like the blind sparrow, thrashing about our wings in search of something.

So first step is identify our treasure.

Whatever be the treasure that we seek it is inside us. It is us. The treasure is generated by the decisions and the choices we make. Instead of the outward journeys that we undertake, we should start our inward journey. 

But we don't do that. We focus outside. We wait for a god or a messenger to get us our treasure. We buy lottery ticket, we go gambling. We take the 'treasure' at its 'literal meaning'. We don't realize our power or our potential to generate far greater treasure for ourselves.

I am a practicing Hindu. As per our belief system, we are god. In fact we are more powerful than god. We do everything that a god does. We create, we maintain and nurture and we are capable of unleashing great destruction to ourselves and our world.

The prayer that I make everyday is 'Aham Brahmasmi', which means 'I am Brahman'. In our belief system, even gods are in search of Brahman, the most powerful of all entities. Brahman lives inside me, you, everyone. 

Each of us is a god. We are capable of creating great treasures for ourselves and for many others. A businessman who gives a job to 10 people is creating treasures for 10 families. 

So, in summary, the treasure that we seek is inside us. It is us. Instead of looking outward for our treasure, our peace, our happiness, let us create our treasures.

We must always ask ourselves, what is the treasure we seek? How can we create that treasure?. 

Einstein came out with his theory of E=MC2. Considering the mass of an average individual is 80 Kilos, can you even imagine the kind of energy that we have every second of the day? We have enough and more of energy to create millions of treasures for us. And for others.

Lets do it.

Five ways in which Modiji owns you

It is obvious that Modiji has some influence over his supporters. Even when they don't like BJP, they find it difficult to dislike Modiji.

While reading the book 'Influence' by Cialdini, I was wondering about the hold that Modiji has on his supporters despite twenty years of delivering average / below average governance. So here is my attempt to fit the phenomenon to a theoretical framework.

1. Commitment and Consistency: As per this principle, once you have committed to something, you modify your behaviour to live in line with your commitment. And the acts of commitment have exploding effect. You could make a very small commitment and later could behave in a significantly huge way to live true to the commitment.
Modiji is a past master at getting you to commit. You may go to a BJP meeting as an independent and once you answer the question 'Congress ko Nikaalna chahiye ki nahin nikaalna chahiye' and the Crowd chants 'Nikaalna chahiye' and you chant alongside, you have committed publicly to vote against Congress. Note that in this sentence he never explicitly asks anyone to vote for BJP. It is just implied.

2. Scarcity: If you make people fear that something is becoming scarce, you have had them by the balls. By his various statements like 'Shamshan / Khabarstan', 'Jersey Cow', 'Hum Paanch, hamare pachees' and others, Modiji makes it look as if with minorities will make the 'Hindu way of life' scarce. Even when data do not support this narrative, it has the outcome of making many people run to the person who looks like they can save 'our way of life'.

3. Getting supporters to do things and Commitment Principle: One insidious way in which Modiji manipulates his supporters is by getting them to do things. And he makes it look as if they did it on their own volition. There is commitment principle number one, right there.
On yoga day he gets people to publicly do yoga. As a part of Swachh Bharat, thousands of Indians were on the streets with broomsticks and what not. He got people to clang their plates and light Diyas. Conditioning people to do as he wants them to do is the surefire way of creating a nation of subservient populace.

4. Whatsapp forwards and Commitment Principle: BJP got the WA game right in 2014. Till early 2017, when it was clear that most of the messages you get in WA are fake news, BJP ruled the WA roost. Every message that one received was forwarded as if it was gospel truth. There was an obscene photoshopped image forwarded by a well known RW guy which showed Pundit Nehruji in the company of some bar dancers. This was forwarded by many people. Every time a person forwards the message, he / she was committing to that message.

5. Scarcity: Another way in which Modiji makes himself scarce is by avoiding press conferences. While the objective is to avoid being asked tough pointed questions from the press, his avoidance of PCs makes him scarce and paradoxically more valuable in the eyes of the supporters.

It is obvious that Modiji and BJP have played their supporters like violin. Will the supporters realize that they are being manipulated?

No, I don't think so. The mind meld has been very powerful.

My only hope is the the next generations will behave like responsible citizens and start asking questions of the government of the day. That is their democratic duty, ain't it?

The Accidental Entrepreneur

Lying on his bed  on that Wednesday afternoon in the December of 2003, Ramki felt acutely anxious.

What am I going to do now, he wondered.

About a month ago, he had taken a long leave from his well paying job as the Regional Manager of a well known Pharmaceutical Company. He had no intention of going back. He did not have a job in hand before he took this drastic decision. His manager had been ill-treating him for over a year. The final straw was when he was transferred to another state in what Ramki considered was a 'Punishment Transfer'. No self-respecting professional could take that insult.

He was 38. His wife was a home maker and he had two children, the youngest barely two years old. In addition, his mother was staying with him. His eldest daughter, the apple of his eye, was studying in a school nearby and he was living in a rental apartment in the Southern part of Bangalore.

Articles that I read in March 2019

03-Mar-2019

I read an article from Emotion Machine. It is the summary of a book called Flourish - A new understanding of happiness and well being. This book is written by Martin Seligman considered to be the father of positive psychology. The book discusses how you can become happy and talks about a concept called PERMA which is elaborated as follows

P - Positive emotions: Experience joy and pleasure

E - Engagement or flow: Being consciously involved in our activities

R - Relationships: Having enjoyable and supportive interactions with others.

M - Meaning: Creating a purposeful narrative about our lives

A - Accomplishments: Completing our goals and following our core values. 

Key findings are that one, you can be happy and also depressed or anxious, but not at the same time. The correlation between the two is only -0.2 and not -1.0 as many would think. Two, he talks of a concept called ‘Prospection’ which is think about future. It is the opposite of introspection which is reviewing what happened in the past. He says that most of the time we are thinking about the future. 

For example as I write this I am also thinking what I will do after I finish the diary entry. It is like I am both in the present, typing this, as well as in the future. 

As per Seligman, we are constantly creating positive representations of future and choosing among them. You have a choice to envision a better future and take steps to accomplish that future. This is the best tool to ensure a flourishing future. Hence the title ‘Flourish’.

03-Mar-2019

Today I read an article titled 12 questions that will change your life. This article is written by Ryan Holiday. 

It is very important to ask questions even if we do not know the answers. The right question can calm a mind or change the course of life. These questions are gathered from some of the best minds. The questions are:

1. Who do you spend time with? Identify people better than you to spend your time with.
2. Is this in my control? If not let it go. While things may be out of our control, our responses to them are in our control.
3. What does your ideal day look like? Made me think, this one. You have to identify the most enjoyable and satisfying aspect of our day and take decisions and actions to replicate them. Your job, your life and the place you have to live move you to their ideal day. If you are a quiet person you need environment that helps you attain that.
4. To be or to do: Action versus reflection. Will you go after titles and power and prestige or will you go after real accomplishments? 
5. If I am not for me, who is for me? If I am only for me who am I or what am I?: If you are only for you, you are selfish. You should be able to subsume your ego for a higher purpose. They key is what will be your legacy.
6. What am I missing by choosing to worry or be afraid? What am I choosing not to see now? You might be choosing worry over introspection, alertness or wisdom. The Greek word is  ‘Apatheia’ meaning calm equanimity.
7. Amy I doing my job? What is my job? We can be very busy and not doing what is important. You have to spend time on things that matter.
8. What is the most important thing? Do I know? Am I putting it first? For example if your most important thing is family you should not compare yourself with those who have money. You make life choices based on what is most important thing for you. Understanding MIT, you will stay away from races that do not matter. Holiday talks of a concept called ‘Euthenia’, the belief that you are on the right path and not be distracted by tracks that cross your path. 
9. Who is this for? Who is your target audience? Who are interested in what you offer. Many people do not have answer to this question. You have to ask yourself who are my target audience, what do they want, what value I am offering them etc. Don’t try to get lucky and follow the hunch. As the questions and don’t stop till you get your answer.
10. Does it actually matter? Author talks about the concept of ‘Memento Mori’, acceptance of mortality, given the shortness of life does this think that I am fighting about or worrying about matter? What is happening to you is minuscule in the light of eternity. 
11. Are you spending alive time or dead time? In alive time we are learning and acting and leveraging. In dead time we are waiting. Don’t get into meaningless debates. Decide on the ideal day and start acting on it. 
12. Is this who I want to be? Your actions have to be consistent with  what you want to be. There is a good quote ‘In your twenties, you are deciding what you want to be, you might as well decide not to be an asshole’. 

Remember that how we do anything is how we do everything. That is who we are. Keep asking ‘What is the meaning of life’. It is not for us to expect an answer. Life is demanding that we answer the question with the actions and decisions we make. 

Continue regularly asking these questions and try to find answers.to them. 

26-Mar-2019

In the morning I read an article in NYT titled Why you procrastinate (It has nothing to do with self-control), This article is written by Charlotte Leiberman. Procrastination is not about Laziness. The word procrastination is derived from the Latin verb ‘Procrastinaire’ which means ‘to put off till tomorrow’. It is not just voluntary delay. The word is also derived from Greek word ‘Acrasia’ which means doing something against our best judgement.

In our mind we feel that we are harming ourselves by procrastinating and that self awareness makes us feel rotten. The problem is that we know procrastination is a bad idea and yet we do it.

People engage in the vicious cycle of procrastination because of their inability to manage their moods around the task. Some of these moods will be insecurity, self doubt, magnitude of task, boredom, anxiety etc. Procrastination is an emotion regulation problem that we confuse as time management problem. In other words procrastination is the primacy of short term mood repair over long term pursuit of intended action.

We procrastinate those tasks that are unpleasant or create negative emotions. We feel we are not up to a task. The negative thoughts that are caused by procrastination are known as ‘procrastinatory cognition’.

The momentary relief that procrastination provides makes the cycle vicious. Procrastination is due to ‘Present bias’ a tendency to prioritize on the short term goals at the expense of long term needs. At a neural level we perceive our future self as a stranger. Our brain things that the task we are putting off is ‘someone else’s’ problem.

We can’t tell ourselves to stop procrastination. It is an emotion problem rather than a productivity problem and the solution is to control our emotions in a new way. We have to find an incentive to stop us from procrastinating. We give ourselves a BBO, ‘Bigger Better Offer’ which will motivate us to do the work. This reward should be better than the relief of avoidance. One option is to be gentle and kind with ourselves. We should not beat up ourselves for procrastinating. Another is to focus on the next task tricking our mind to assume that this task is over. Another way is to reframe that task to look at the positive aspects of the task at hand.

The main thing is to get started. That first step is very important. (I have experienced this again and again.). Once I start, I get the stuff done.

Another approach is to make your temptation more difficult. Another will be to make our tasks as easy as possible like sleeping in gym attire.

However, the best approach that I can recommend is to use ‘Positive Distraction’ method proposed by Cal Newport.

26-Mar-2019

In his article titled Productivity is not about time management, it is about attention management, Organization psychologist Adam Grant says that being prolific is not about time management. There are limited number of hours in a day and being focused on time makes us realize how many of these we waste. A better option is attention management. Prioritize the people and the projects that you need to focus your attention on. Attention management focuses on completing the right task for the right reasons in the right place and at the right moment.

According to conventional wisdom you are supposed to fix time goals for when you want to finish a task. That is not the right approach. Productive people gravitate towards projects that are personally interesting and socially meaningful. Before you do any task decide if it is meaningful. Identify all the stakeholders and how your task will benefit them. And work for a specific target audience.

Often our productivity struggles are due to lack of motivation and not due to time pressure.  

Productivity is a means to a virtuous end. If productivity is your goal (I have to finish two blog posts today, for example), then you will be under time pressure. If your end is virtuous, then you will automatically become productive.

Since productivity depends on the nature of the task, sequencing of tasks matter. It is better to schedule a boring task after completing a mildly interesting task and then do the most exciting task as a reward for completing the boring task.

Productivity and creativity need opposite attention management strategies. Productivity is fuelled by creating filters to keep other thoughts out. Creativity is fuelled by letting as many thoughts and ideas into your mind.

How do you get the best of both worlds!

It depends on your circadian rhythm. Do not mix productivity and creative work. If you are a morning person for example, do your analytical (Productive) task in the morning, boring tasks in the noon and creative tasks in the evening.

You also need to think differently into how you plan your time. Attention management also focuses on when you get things done. As per studies, if outside weather is bad, we are more productive. One suggestion is to divide your week into 'Maker days' and 'Manager days'. You schedule your meetings and other mechanical work on manager days and creative work on maker days.

Time management asks you to eliminate distractions. Attention management asks you to be thoughtful about time of distraction. Most of the writers wait for 'Maker Days' to start writing. But there is evidence that binge writing do not work as much as writing in shorter bursts.

In summary, if you are trying to be more productive, don't analyze how you spend your time. Focus on what consumes your attention.

Previous Articles

Checkout articles that I read in January 2019

Checkout articles that I read in February 2019