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27 July 2013

What women have...

The other day I was waiting in a doctor's office waiting for an appointment. I saw this beautiful scene.

Two ladies were sitting in front of me. It was obvious tat they were mother and daughter-in-law. Based on the patch on the old lady's eye, obviously she had come for the checkup. The other lady was in her early 30s, pretty and was smartly dressed in a simple, elegant salwar and kameez.

While we were all waiting for our appointment a guy entered the room. He was an ordinary bloke, short and dark with creases on his forehead. Seeing him enter, the younger lady gave him one of the most beautiful smile that I have seen a lady give her husband. Everything was in that smile, happiness, elation, excitement, trust, confidence...

That was the kind of smile a man deserves from his spouse, but seldom gets.

Many ladies do not understand the power they hold. They do not know their hidden capabilities. Every man desires to be trusted by his spouse and need to know that she trusts him to do the best always. Women have the power to make the man feel important and he will become important. Give him that smile and he will be able to move mountains for you. Make him feel that he is the greatest husband in the world, and you know what? he will be. 

With your help, your husband can become taller. Taller in his work, taller in the community, taller in the family...Every husband secretly longs for a partner that can make him taller. But they are too egoistical to tell you that. Mind you, they will continue to do well, to excel in their work without your support. What that smile can do for you is to make you the agent of his success. You will become the reason why he is successful. 

I am in no way asking you to play the weaker sex or compromise on your rights as a wife. That won't help because your smile will not be genuine. 

There are two reasons why many women are not able to become the catalyst of their husband's success. First one is that with the husbands and wives being equally qualified, the wife do not see any reason to be 'Different' from her husband. Both of us are equal, she thinks, so why should I make him feel important and special? I am equally important, she decides.

First of all, making your husband feel important will in no way diminish your importance. It is not that there is a constant stock of 'Importance' in the house and if husband is given more importance, the share of the wife will be depleted. Importance is not a zero sum game, it always multiplies when shared. 

Second of all, if you make your husband feel special, he will act special, will become special and so will you.

Second reason why a woman is not able to act the role of catalyst in her husband's success is more genetic in nature. Right from our 'caveman' days, we are conditioned to find faults and problems. All our senses are conditioned to recognized abnormal patterns. So a newly married woman can quickly identify the husband's weakness and can soon turn into a problem tracker. She will quickly identify a number of things that her husband is doing wrong..

Such as..

He is a mama's boy
He doesn't know how to drive
He gets scared of bullies
He doesn't help at home (I too agree. I don't like men who do not help at home)

The point is that if you identify so many of his faults, it is difficult to respect your husband.

So what should you do?

Rather than finding what is wrong, start identifying what is right. There should be many of them. This is the suggestion that I will give to anyone embarking on a new relationship. Try looking for what is right rather than what is wrong. Have you observed that he is very calm? Have you told him that he is a great dad and kids eyes light up when he enters the house? What about the fact that he supports your career? Does it matter to you that he is dependable and is there for you, or you think that that is his responsibility? Have you observed that he has a knack of getting stuff done? 

What women have is that brilliant, genuinely trustful smile that can make your man feel and act like a superman. Have you given him that great, trustful, confidence building smile yet? 

If you haven't, may I suggest that you start today?

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