Learning to say 'Yes'

"Will you marry me?"

"Mr.Ram, our client has an opportunity that will catapult your career. However, it will involve you relocating to another country for four years at least. We will provide everything you require. Are you interested?

"I know that I hurt your feelings. Can you forgive me?"

"You need a risky surgery immediately. Can you sign this no indemnity certificate?"

"Do you want to learn French?"

What are common with all these questions?

One, they are all difficult decisions with far reaching implications. Two, best answer is 'Yes'

Traditional wisdom advises you to 'Learn to say No'. But as the above questions show, saying 'Yes' is very difficult.

Saying 'Yes' is far more difficult than saying 'No'.

Why?

Saying 'No' maintains status quo. It doesn't have any other ramifications.

Saying 'Yes' is fraught with risk, uncertainty, long-term impact, potential happiness, potential regret, change...

Given a situation where 'Yes' is expected, we try to delay and buy time to read up more, to discuss with family ....

We stall. We hesitate to say 'Yes'.

Sometimes desperation forces us to say 'Yes'. I have a friend who lost his job in the middle of the nineties. He was desperately looking for a job. As luck would have it, an acquaintance was starting the dealership of a car polishing solution. He was given a chance to become a franchisee.  In his desperation he said 'Yes' to to this opportunity.

He had zero experience in running a company. But he soldiered on. in his first year, the company had two employees including himself. In the first year his business had a revenue of 2000 Dollars

Today his business employs over 140 people and clocks 2 Million dollars a year.

"I was very scared of starting a business. Had I got a job offer, I would never have got into the business", he tells me.

Why wait till we are desperate before saying 'Yes'? Why we wait to say 'Yes' till it is the only option available? 

Another friend, an accountant by profession, took a year of unpaid sabbatical to produce and direct a movie. He invested his own money. 

"I wanted to follow my passion", he told me.

Today he heads the India Consulting arm of a Fortune 50 US Multinational. 

Despite his achievements, he is proud of his coveted membership in the IMPPA (Indian Motion Picture Producers Association) and get invites for all the glitzy Bollywood award programs. 

He decided to say 'Yes' to a risky opportunity. 

Then there are cases of people were scared to say 'Yes'.

Back in 2003, when I was working for an IT Company in Bangalore, I met Suresh in the Office. He was my colleague in my previous company which was a major steel maker in India. I had said 'Yes' to a major career change in the year 2000 to move from Manufacturing Industry to IT Industry and from the security of a government job to the risks of a job in the private sector. 

Suresh told me that he left our previous organization and has joined my current company. I was very happy for him. I assured him that it was the right decision.

Three months later I met him again. He told me that he is going back to his previous employer.

"My family is pressurizing me to move back to a government job", he told me.

I implored him to stay back. I tried to show him the long view where he would have relocated to US and be earning salary that the government company could never match.

He left anyway. He said 'No' to an awesome opportunity. 

I felt very sad. We were very close. 

Unfortunately most of the people I know opted for 'No' when offered new opportunities. Some of them never even looked around for opportunities. 

Decades later, they are doing the same job, experiencing the same experience day after day, year after year.

In the movie 'Yes Man', Jim Carey character decide to say 'Yes' to any opportunity for the next one year.
One year later, he is a changed man, more experienced, wiser...

Author John Maxwell says that most people spend time 'Running away from what they fear". That is saying 'NO'.

He suggests that "Instead people should run towards what they are afraid of". In other words say 'Yes'.

Mark the number of times you say 'No' in a day as against 'Yes'. I bet that former is a predominant response.

In 2016, I decided to follow Jim Carey and say 'Yes' to any new opportunity that came my way. Almost immediately I got an opportunity to work in an area that was evolving and about which I had no idea. This involved IFRS15 (hearing it for the first time) and Oracle Revenue Management. I was supposed to learn the concepts and the product in just two weeks and deliver a corporate training.

In my previous avatar my responses would have been filled with Ifs and Buts and Risk Mitigation Strategies and I don't haves (experience, knowledge, not my area etc)...

I said 'Yes' since I was the 'Yes Man'. I decided that I will make it work.

Fast forward two years, I became one of the few experts in that area. I did multiple corporate trainings to leading companies, did one implementation and traveled abroad and had a lot of fun.

That is the power of Saying 'Yes'.

Decide to start saying 'Yes' from today. Studies show that people are more happier 6 months after they say 'Yes' to change.

Will you start saying 'Yes' from today?

If this post inspires you to take action, let all of us know.