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18 January 2008

Jay Leno: The wittiest guy out there!!

I think Jay Leno ('Tonight with Jay Leno') is the wittiest talk show host out there among all the stalwarts. Sample these......

1. Democrats has come down to either Hillary Clinton or Barrak Obama. That means they have to choose between a Black Man or a White Women. Imagine this...This is the kind of decision that Michael Jackson has to make every day.

2. Yesterday President Bush went to Mt.Rushmore. Don't confuse this with President Clinton who was in a rush to mount more....

3. President Bush Says he has no plans to attack Iran. Oh, he will still attack Iran. Only he just has no plan....

4. Hillary Clinton has asked President Bush to pull out of Iraq. She should know. If any woman knows how to ask a president to pull out, it should be her.

5. The $10 million Clinton is getting for his book beats the old record of $8.5 million paid to the Pope. How do you think this makes the Pope feel? The man dedicates his life to the 10 Commandments, he gets 8.5. Clinton breaks every one of them, he gets 10

6. According to a new survey, 11% of all Americans between the ages of 18 and 24 could not find the United States on a map of the world. How pathetic is that? Isn't that amazing? President Bush commented on this today. He said, 'Why do we need our kids to find the U.S. on a map? They're already here'

7. Candidates always like to say it, they're gonna get tough on career criminals, Republicans especially. Republicans love that word, 'career criminals.' I mean, what other kind of criminal is there, really? Is this a hobby for a lot of people? Have you ever been robbed and have the guy say, 'Actually, I'm an architect. I just do this on the side 'cause I really enjoy it. And when it's no longer fun, I'm gonna stop. Give me your money

8.Actually, President President Bush had some good dog advice for the president-elect. Bush advised him to get a dog that's easy to train. Bush said it took almost eight years to get Barney to bite that reporter.


9.The big rumor in Washington is that Barack Obama is considering Hillary Clinton to replace Condoleezza Rice as his secretary of state. How about that, huh? That would make Hillary the new white rice, I guess.

1 comment:

Vydyanathan said...

Yes, Leno is really good. You should also checkout Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. They have very different style though.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/index.jhtml

http://colbertnation.com/