The Karna Metaphor...

Let me tell you about a great mystery of life...

People with great potential are not able to use their potential at critical junctures. While persons with significantly lower potential are able to focus their potential and achieve great victories.
A classic example is Vijay Amritraj. During his peak he was considered to be one of the top 5 best tennis players in the world. He regularly used to beat top players like Jimmy Connors and McEnroe in various ATP tournaments, but he never won a grandslam. 

Or take the case of Ivan Lendl. Considered arguably the greatest tennis player in his generation, he never won a Wimbledon. He reached the Semifinals or Finals of Wimbledon 7 times in his career without winning even once. 

Take the example of South Africa. Leading up to multiple World Cup Championship, they were THE team to beat in One Day internationals. But in crucial, winnable games in the World cup, they lost their way, often ending up being considered as 'Chokers'.

Why does this happen?

I am reminded of the Story of Karna in Mahabharata. 

Karna is considered to be the greatest character in Mahabharata. Spending his early years as the son of a Charioteer, Karna distinguished in various forms of warfare and was the greatest archer of his time. Early in his life, Karna had the ambition of learning the 'Brahmastra' mantra from the great sage Parasurama. However Parasurama was a sworn enemy of Kashtriyas (warrior class) and had declined to give training to Kashtriyas. Knowing that Parasurama trained only Brahmanas, Karna disguised as a Brahmana and asked Parasurama to teach him the Brahmastra mantra. Thinking that Karna was a Brahmana, Parasurama accepted him as his disciple.

One day Parasurama was sleeping with his head on Karna's lap. At that time, a bee came and started stinging Karna's lower thigh. Though it was severely painful and profusely bleeding, Karna was afraid that if he moved his legs, his master would wake up, and hence did not move his thighs and continued to suffer the pain and bleeding.

When Parasurama woke up, he found out what had happened. Knowing that Brahmanas could not suffer such pain and only Kashtriyas could suffer so much of pain, Parasurama confronted Karna and asked him to tell the truth. 

Karna told him the truth that he was not a Brahmana.
On hearing it, a furious Parasurama cursed him that, at the most crucial moment in his life, Karna will forget what he had learned from him. All the knowledge that Karna learned would be useless at a crucial point in his life where that knowledge is absolutely required.

This happened in Mahabharata war. At the crucial moment when he was fighting Arjuna, Karna forgot the Brahmastra mantra resulting in him getting killed by Arjuna.

Most of us are like Karna. We go about absorbing enormous amount of knowledge but at crucial situations which matter, we forget the knowledge, we get afraid to take that final step and hence we get results significantly below our potential.

Wasn't it Ellen DeGeneres who said, 'Human beings use only 10% of our brain power. Imagine what we can achieve if we use the remaining 60%'

Why am I saying this story now?

I know of a person who is very intelligent, knowledgeable and full of energy. It is obvious to others that he has significant potential but he is not effectively using it. The problem is that he is oblivious to his potential and the way in which he is wasting it.

One day, we were facing an issue and he was owning the issue. He did a good job of analysis, he  came up with multiple solutions. But exactly at a time when he had to take a decision on the final solution he caved. The final solution was obvious to all. But he lost his confidence (I think) and said that he wanted further analysis. Immediately, someone in the team took over and decided that we will go ahead with the solution. 

At that moment, when he caved, he ceded the turf to someone else. All the good work that he had put in will be forgotten. The only thing that will linger is the knowledge that someone else took the final decision and he caved when it mattered. 

This is Karna in action. This person had the knowledge, but at the time when he should have taken a decision, he lost his nerve and lost control of this issue.

Isn't there some Karna in all of us?

Three Inspirational Stories...

Here are three inspirational stories filled with wisdom. Coincidentally, all involve Professors

Story # 1: Weight of half glass of water

Professor came to the class, and, without saying anything filled a glass half full with water.

Students, all expectant to hear the eternal question about 'Glass half filled or half empty?' braced themselves.

'How much does this glass weigh?' asked the Prof.

How much does a glass half filled with water weigh? 'Two ounces' came one answer, 'five' piped another student.

'The weight of this glass depends on how much time you are going to hold the glass' said the wise Professor, 'You might not feel any weight if you hold this for a few minutes. But if you hold it for an hour, it will feel slightly heavy, and if you hold it for a day, it will be very heavy. Hold it for five days, and your hands will start aching and you will find it difficult to hold the glass.'

'Situations that create hurt and stress are like this half filled glass. If you keep it for a few moments, they will not hurt, but if you carry them with you throughout, they will start hurting you severely, making you ineffective'.

'So', said the professor throwing out the water through the window, 'throw out those stress inducing feelings and emotions before they can hurt you'.

Story # 2: Glass filled with Stones

Professor comes to the class, picks up a glass and fills it with some stones.

'Is this glass full?', he asks the class

'Yes', responds the class unanimously

Then he pours in a few small pebbles. The pebbles occupy the space between the stones.

'Do you think the glass is full now?', he queried

'Yes', answers the class a bit dubiously

The Professor goes on to fill the glass with sand. The small grains of sand fills the gap between the pebbles.

'Is the glass full now?', asks the Prof.

'Yes', the class is absolutely sure.

The Prof. goes on to pour a cup of coffee in the glass. 

'You see', says the Professor, 'this glass is an analogy for your life. The stones represent the things that are very important to you, like Values, Goals, Family, Friends, Work Life Balance, Hobbies etc. The pebbles represent those that are not as important as stones, but important nevertheless like your job, money etc. The sand represent the stuff that are the least important to you like checking the mail, updating face book status etc'.

'If you fill your life with lots of sand, you will not have any space for things that are important to you. So it is important for you to fill your life with 'Stones' and a few 'Pebbles', with minimal space for 'Sand'.

'What does 'Coffee' mean?', wondered the class.

'Oh, no matter how full your life is, there is always space for a cup of Coffee with your friends', the Professor replied.

Story # 3: Glasses of different colours

A group of friends met up for their 25th Class Reunion. Hearing that their venerated Professor lived nearby, they decided to pay him a courtesy visit.

The professor warmly welcomed them and all sat in the lounge over cups of coffee.

There were a number of cups set on the table. A few of them were beautiful cups, brightly coloured with very good designs and a few were bland white cups.

They all took the bright coloured cups and filled coffee and started drinking.

'Do you notice something?', said the Professor, 'all of you have chosen bright, designer  cups to drink your coffee. None of you have taken the bland, white cups.'

'However, what you are drinking, coffee, is what matters to you. The colour of the cups is just peripheral to the task of drinking coffee. But you instinctively chose the designer cups'.

'This is what happens in our lives too', Professor continued, 'What matters to us is the values we develop, the happiness that we earn as we progress in life, the strength of our families, the respect that we demonstrate to our parents, number of friends that we have, the valuable time that we spend with our kids as they grow up...'

'These are all important stuff', the Professor paused to let it sink in.

'But what do we focus on? We focus on making money, we focus on building beautiful bungalows, we focus on owning large amounts of property, we focus on our jobs...'

'These are all peripherals'.

'We focus on the peripherals, while missing the 'Coffee'. We work late at the office, on the latest deadline, while we miss our daughter's performance in the school play. We travel on 'Business' and miss our Spouses Birthday. We focus on finding faults with our near and dear while taking for granted the good things that they do for us day after day.'

'We pull our bed sheet tightly around us and miss the brilliant Sunrise that is welcoming us just outside our window'.

'It is important to identify the 'Coffee' in our lives and focus on them and the 'Designer Cups' in our lives and defocus on them', finished the Professor.

The Spring Transformation....

It is spring time here again in Bangalore...

Some of the trees have already shed their leaves and are adorned with new,glistening, green leaves. Some of them are already decked with brightly coloured flowers. There is a smell of spring all around.

Some of them woke up late. Like a passenger late for the train, they are frantically trying to catch up,  shedding their leaves at a furious pace, afraid of being left out of the show.

The other day, my car was parked under one such tree. When I came back after an hour, my car was literally flooded with brown leaves.

Watching nature reinventing itself, redecorating itself, shedding the old useless leaves to make way for new glowing ensemble, made me think. Year after year, like a clockwork, nature dresses up in Spring, attracts birds and bees that will help it 'spread its message' and finally, having completed its task, shed the old leaves and wear new ones.

I mean, isn't a lesson there? Shouldn't we all be like the nature? What about taking some tips from nature?

Starting from childhood, we pile up ourselves with bad habits. We go thru the motions of living, do not set any goals for ourselves, eat all those junk food, put on fat, sit ages in front of our PCs, Laptops, Tabs and mobiles, do not go out and play, don't have time to exercise, do not socialize, do not read good books, do not watch good movies, work and wear out ourselves, do not plan our tasks, do not set ourselves goals and targets, do not schedule...

Go thru the motions...

We blame ourselves, find faults with others, become ineffective in personal relationships.

Day by day, month by month, year by year, we let these bad habits pile up. 

All these bad habits take up our time and resource. Which means that they 'crowd out' good habits. Good habits need time to develop. And that is what is not available for us since all our time is taken up by bad habits.

Have you read a good book recently?
No man, I am so occupied.
When was the last time you complimented you colleague?
Are you crazy? What has she done to deserve a compliment? 
Want to watch Lincoln?
I am afraid I am busy.
Want to come to the garden and smell flowers?
You mad? I would rather update my status on Facebook....

Shouldn't we take some lessons from nature? Shouldn't we all have our spring cleaning? Shouldn't we have our own 'Personal Spring' season, where we identify and shed bad habits and let new habits develop?  

Our ancestors, those dudes who lived in the era of 'handwritten letters' and 'newspapers' and 'going to bank to withdraw cash' and 'waiting in line for making a long distance call' realized this. They realized that people should dedicate some time every year to remove clutter from their environment and their minds. That is why they brought in the concept of 'Spring Cleaning'. 

It is time that we adopted the concept of Spring Cleaning. Let us identify at least one bad habit and try to rid ourselves of that. Have a time-bound program. Remember, nature has a window of about two months between Winter and Summer to remove the dead leaves and bring in new bright ones. Here are some of the lessons that we can learn from nature when it comes to getting rid of bad habits.

1. Identify your bad habits: Every year, the nature only sheds its dead leaves, The roots, the stem, the branches are all left untouched. Just like nature, you also identify the bad habits that you want to shed.

2. Identify a good habit to replace a bad habit with: This is a very important step. Nature doesn't just shed old leaves and say ' I am done. I have removed all the bad leaves. Now I do not have to do anything.'.  It continues the process by replacing the dead leaves with brand new leaves. For every bad habit that you want to shed, identify a good habit to replace it with.  

3. Shed bad habits completely and thoroughly: Nature do not do a half-baked job. Come spring and ALL the bad leaves fall and new good leaves comes in their place. Just like nature, if you identify a bad habit, shed it completely.

4. Have a time bound plan: Nature binds itself to a fixed time window in which to shed the old leaves and bring in new ones in their place. Just like nature have a time-bound plan, have a very clear time window in which to relieve you of bad habits.

5. Consistency is the key: Nature is anything if not consistent.Every year, around mid-January, the leaves start shedding and by mid of March, the old leaves are replaced with new ones. Just like nature, once you start shedding bad habits, do it consistently, stick to a fixed time window, have a fixed start date and a fixed end date ans stick to it year after year. 

6. Replace bad habits with good habits: This is important. Nature doesn't just shed old leaves, it replaces old leaves with new. Similarly, once you give up a bad habit, it is very important to fill up the available time with a new habits. It has to go hand in hand. I see many people make the mistake of working on removing their bad habits without devoting enough time to replace it with good habits. Without this replacement, you will end up replacing one bad habit with another bad habit. It doesn't help at all. Bad habits and good habits are like left hand and right hand. They go together.
Struggling to start a new habit? This might help

7. Shed one bad habit at a time. Nature do not wake up one sudden day and shed all the leaves at one go. The leaves are shed one leaf at a time. Similarly, you also have to shed one habit at a time and eliminate it completely. 

8. Be aware of the external dependencies: As spring approaches, nature knows that it is time to shed the leaves and adorn a new look. Somewhere else, the birds and the bees also knows that in another two months, the nature's renewal will be completed signalling them to start their activities. They wait patiently for nature to complete its tasks. The trees do not see the birds, The birds do not see any specific tree. But both know that they are dependent on each other. They instinctively know that there is a mutually beneficial relationship between them which will commence once the nature completes its 'Spring Cleaning'. Just like that there is something out there which is patiently waiting for you to shed your bad habit to bless you with abundance of richness and growth and personal happiness. But, you have to initiate the process. The blessings will not come to to you till you shed the bad habits. If you do not shed the bad habits? Well, the blessings, help and support will flow to those who take the time to do that. 

Tell me what other lessons that you learn from observing trees shedding their leaves in Spring. I would love to hear your views.

Paradox at the Gym...

They say ‘You can’t do the same thing again and again and expect different results’.

I say ‘Boo’.

I say that two people can do the exact same thing day after day and expect different results. And it is perfectly logical.

Take the example of two protagonists. Let us call one of them Laxman. I don’t know his name. For all I know his name may be Ravi, Aditya, Tejas... anything. (Not Humberto or Moreno or Jaime Toro. These are South American names. Laxman is Indian). We are calling him Laxman.

Why are we calling him Laxman?

Because, the name of the other protagonist is Ram. When Ram is there, can Laxman be far behind?

How do I know that the name of other protagonist is Ram? Because, it is me. I am the other protagonist. And I am reasonably certain that my name is Ram.

I hear you asking, ‘When are you going to make your b....y point?’

Here go I.

Both Ram and Laxman go to the same Gym. Both joined the Gym on the same day, almost at the same time (like a pair of twins, I can't stop once I start). Both of them have the same trainer.

Both the protagonists follow the same schedule. Monday is for back muscles, Tuesday is for biceps, Wednesday is for Chest muscles, Everyday is for body ache...

Etc.

Both Ram and Laxman are Exercise partners. They alternate the same exercise between sets. For example, Ram does a set of 15 biceps exercise with dumbbells weighing 5 kg each and once he completes, he hands over the dumbbells to Laxman to do the same thing.

Or Laxman does 15 push-ups and then Ram does 15 push-ups.

Or...

You get the point. Both alternatively do the same exercise for exactly the same number of times.

For an hour this goes on. Like a pair  of butterflies flitting from one flower to another, or (if you didn't like that one) like a pair of synchronized gymmers Ram and Laxman flit from one dumbbell to another.

Or tango dancers...

You take your simile.

Finally the fruits of the labour. Both stand on the weighing scale to check their weight.

This is where things become interesting.

Ram looks at his weight (it is a digital scale), and thinks ‘It is almost a month. It is torture to get up in the morning in this winter cold and come to this gym and take all these pains. My objective was to reduce my weight. But it looks as if my weight is remaining the same. Why is my weight not reducing? How will I know that I am not wasting my time? Oh my god, am I wasting my time?’

Ram freaks out.

And what about Laxman? He looks at his weight and thinks, ‘It is almost a month. It is a punishment to get up in the morning in this winter cold and come to this gym and take all these pains. My objective was to increase my weight. But it looks as if my weight is remaining the same. Why is my weight not increasing? How will I know that I am not wasting my time? Oh my god, am I wasting my time?’

Laxman freaks out.

You see. Same action. Expectation of different results. If my trainer is to be believed, both of us will achieve our objectives.

As Laxman put it so succinctly, ‘Vice Versa works in life’.

The point is  this. Both are going to the gym expecting the results that they want. But what if ‘They’ (I mean, the people who made that statement in the first line of this article) are right and one of them (either Ram or Laxman) is wrong? What if Laxman is right? What if going to the gym will increase the weight. Then Ram would have lost his sleep, taken all these body pains (for instance, today morning he couldn't feel the lower part of his hand, it was almost as if there was ‘maya’ or weightlessness between his elbow and (his) palm.) and would have got results exactly counter to his objectives.

It is scary.

But, wait a minute. What if Ram is right? What if his objectives are achieved? What if going to gym will ‘really’ reduce weight (Ram is relishing the thought). Then Laxman will look silly. As such he looks thin as a reed. One month down, he is going to look like and emaciated reed. Boy, won't he look ridiculous.

That one thought should keep Ram going to the gym.

Right now, I being Ram, is licking my lips at the thought. 

PC Jewellers Ad...

I have a bone to pick with many of the ads that they show on TV.

One of the prime candidate for bone picking is the PC Jewellers Ad...

Oooh, don't I dislike the ad?

Remember it?

The ad goes somewhat like this..

Daughter is looking at the marriage album of her parents. In one photo, she asks 'Ye Kaun Hai?'

Mom replies, 'Yeh aap ka papa hai. Ek din aap ko bhi aisa raajkumar milega'.

Hearing this the father says in a worried tone, 'Kaise milega? Sone ka bhav din prati din badte jaa raha hai?

Mom says 'Tension mat lo. PC Jewellers hai na? Unke scheme chal rahi hai. Barah Kisthe denge hum, do Kisthe denge PCJ'

(Translation: 

Daughter is looking at the marriage album of her parents. In one photo, she asks 'Who is this?'

Mom replies, 'This is your daddy. One day, you will also get a prince like this'.

Hearing this the father says in a worried tone, 'How is it possible? The price of gold is going up by the day'

Mom says 'Don't get stressed. PC Jewellers is there no? They have a scheme going on. We will pay Twelve instalments, PCJ will pay two.' )

I dislike this ad at multiple levels. On the one hand, I dislike the stereotyping. A worried father, A daughter as a liability who has got to be married off. On the other hand, I dislike the overall negative tone of the message.  

As a man, I dislike the idea of a dumb father who is worrying, but is being comforted by his knowledgeable wife. Ooh, I have a daughter, I don't know how I am going to get her married, OMG, the gold prices are sky-rocketing  what will I do? What will I do?

Come on...Don't tell me that he did not know of the offer from PCJ. This ad has been going on everywhere for so many days? Despite this he did not know about this offer? Sounds implausible to me. Tell me, how did his wife know?. Of course, from the TV, stupid. And she did not inform him that this offer is going on? No sir, there is no way that the father did not know of this offer. He is simply bluffing, probably to keep his wife on her toes. It stands to reason that if the father is so worried about getting his daughter married, he will definitely know of the offer from the jeweller. It is like, if you are thinking of buying a red car, you will notice all the red cars on the road, and some off the road too.

Men may be dumb. They are not dumb as much.

That is stereotype one right there. A worried father, worried about the price of gold.

The second stereotype in that ad is the depiction of daughter as a cause of tension, as an object that has got to be married off at some time in future. Oh, come on, don't tell me this. The family looks reasonably middle class, and by looking at what is going on out there, the girl will end up being an air line pilot, a fashion designer, an anesthesiologist or a NASA (See how I am not talking about ISRO? Subtle...) scientist. She can earn enough and more to buy all the gold in the world. So why using the stupid stereotype of a girl child as a responsibility? 

And now coming to the content.

Who are you targeting in this ad. In most of the  Indian families, the target audience of gold purchase is invariably women. They are the drivers (except when they are being driven to the jewellery shop) of gold purchase in literally every Indian household. One has to just go to the nearby jewellery shop to see what I am talking about. The store will be teeming with animated, excited, voluble women (much like the gaggle of girls in the 'Lays Baked Chips Ad), walking around, admiring the necklace, vying for the attention of the salesperson and generally having a fun time.

And the hubbies? 

They will be sitting there with a bored, 'women will be women' look in their eyes, ogling at the pretty ladies in the shop, and you can even see a few unromantic souls trying to complete the Sudoku puzzle in the newspaper. The more excited their spouses get, the more worried they will become.

So, which target audience should the ad have targeted? Of course, the women. And what did it target? the worried man. 

Secondly, why this negative thrust? In every family, buying gold is a fun filled activity. The planning starts quite early and people get up in the morning, have their bath, say prayers to Goddess Lakshmi, before they go to purchase gold. Even the discussion about gold purchase is positive and exciting. And this ad puts a wet blanket of the whole discussion.

So what is the outcome?

An ad which could have ended up as a positive and uplifting presentation, ended up being bashed about in the social media for its negative stereotyping. Especially in the current environment where there is a national outcry against women stereotyping, this ad ended up doing just that.

The times are far ahead of this ad. 

Driving in India...Hilarious

This was written by an Expert from Baan, Netherlands who spent two years in Hyderabad.  Driving in India For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer. Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead. Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or, just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar.  Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwaters to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage. Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success. Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion en route to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate. Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac. Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers. One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive, as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Lest I sound hypercritical; I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.   Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental makeup of Chenghis Khan). In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads. During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers will never show any Signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals; they are the greater threat). Only, you will often observe that the cleaner who sits next to the driver, will project his hand and wave hysterically. This is definitely not to be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is just a statement of physical relief on a hot day.  If, after all this, you still want to drive in India, have your lessons between 8 pm and 11 am-when the police have gone home and The citizen is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in our constitution. Having said all this, isn't it true that the accident rate and related deaths are less in India compared to US or other countries!!??

Dented and painted...

No, this story is not about a car, how it got dented and was repainted.

This is about a person who came briefly into my life (or shall I say our lives) and left without leaving any lasting impression, and now, after all these years, this person has come back into my life creating 'cognitive dissonance'. 

It was in the year of 1990.

I had been working in Durgapur Steel Plant for about three years. I used to work as an operations engineer working in shifts. Our shift team consisted of a Manager, a deputy / assistant manager, and an assistant / junior manager. As the junior manager in the team, I was the junior most.

One day a new person joined our team as the deputy manager.

Abhijit da (the new joinee) was a short, lean sort of guy, with a thick moustache and thick framed glasses. He was  a serious kind of guy and was quite courteous an nice to all. He was quite a team player, working with us in dirty environments and leading us where required. He had a self-deprecating sense of humour and while he never told any jokes, was prone to laugh heartily when he heard a good'un.

He was very good to talk to. Due to his natural courtesy, he will agree with you most of the time and will also contribute meaningfully to any conversations that we had. The conversations usually were about Durgapur, our boss, the people who we were working with...the usual stuff.

The only area where Abhijit da used to draw the line was when talking politics. I was an avid reader of various political magazines, and I had opinions on everything political. The main political events of those days included Shabano case, India's economic woes, Congress party's weakness...Any time the talk turned political, Abhijit da will cut us out like we were kids. 

He never liked discussing politics. And when he did, he didn't like any of us countering his opinions. He made it clear that he did not have time or patience for our inane observations, amateur theorizing or bookish knowledge of politics. It was almost as if he had been a practitioner, had 'been there, done that' while we were only novices in politics. 

That was unfathomable to me. We Indians love our politics. And here was a guy, who behaved as if he knew everything about politics.

He worked with us for about three years before he moved to Delhi.

Much water has flown down the river hoogly since...

The other day I saw Abhijit da on TV. 

He was in a profusely apologetic mood. he had made a very rash comment when asked about the protests happening in Delhi. Here is what he said:

"Walking in candlelight processions, going to discotheques, we have also led student life, we have been students. I well know what the character of a student should be." 

"Those who are coming in the name of students in the rallies, sundori, sundori mahila (beautiful women), are highly dented and painted," 

"Giving interviews in TV and showing off their children. I wonder whether they are students at all," he said, adding, "what's basically happening in Delhi is something like pink revolution, which has very little connection with ground realities." 

What a terrible, insensitive comment to make. Are you naive, dada?

Apni eita ki korlen dada? Bolar aage janten na ke eai kothar impact-ta ki hote pare?

The impact of the above comment was swift and brutal. His sister came on national TV and apologized to all the women of India who were insulted by this ridiculous remarks, practically disowning Abhijit da. The anchors of national TV networks smelled blood. In the prevailing environment of deep anger and strong resentment against politicians, a politician coming out with such rash remarks was godsend. The newscasters kept pounding on dada and persisted on asking pointed questions. Abhijit da was obviously very uncomfortable. I made a mistake, he said. I have apologized, and will do again if necessary. Now can we forget and move on? He did not mean to insult any women, after all he has a mother, wife and a sister. It was something rash that he said and he was sorry.

I felt bad for him. I know Abhijit da. I have worked with him for three of my and his formative years. The character that you build during those years tend to stay with you. The Abhijit da I knew was very courteous and respectful to women. 

Now he has made a rash statement. And the media was ruthlessly painting him as a villain and uncouth.

Yes, Abhijit da, my ex-colleague, is none other than, Abhijit Mukherjee, son of Pranab Mukherjee, the current President of India. Dada who made an error of judgement and is now taking it on the chin.

Spare him my friends. He made a mistake, accepted it and apologized on National TV. What more do you want? What do you expect to gain?

Abhijit da was man enough to come on national TV and apologize profusely for an error of judgement. How many of them politicians out there are decent enough to apologize for their errors?

Let us grow up and stop thrashing him and accept his apology. I am sure he meant it. 

Childhood Memories...

My father used to work as an electrical engineer in a cement factory in Kerala. He was a tough and fair manager and some of the workers who were working with him had strong views. And they demonstrated their dislikes in different ways.

There was a guy, I think his name was Rajan, was particularly nasty. When he was sober he was quite a nice guy. He used to say hello to us, kids, and even proffer a smile once while. He was a practising Christian and he and his family were regular at the Church on Sundays. And he had a cute, adorable daughter...

But...

Around the first week of every month, he will get the pay-check and the devout Christian will make a total turnaround. He will frequent the nearby arrack and toddy (Local alcoholic drink) will get totally sloshed. And every time he got drunk, he will stand in front of our house and let loose the juiciest of abuses.

The next day, the sober Rajan will come over to our house and apologize profusely to our father. 

This went on, month after month, year after year...

When we were small kids, we used to get very scared. The abuses normally start around 8 to 8.30 in the evening and last for about 15 minutes. The abuses were interspersed with chronicles of some actions of my father which Rajan did not like. The abuses were like fillers to the real story of how bad my father was. Everyone of our neighbours knew what my father did in the office and how it hurt Rajan or someone else like him. My father was a monster, according to Rajan, and countless are the number of people who dislike him, but, only he, Rajan, had the courage to tell that to my father's face. 

Initially, my father used to pacify Rajan but the attention from his boss only led to him being more violent. So, my father started ignoring him, which further made Rajan angrier and louder. 

Was between a rock and a hard place, my father.

As we grew up, we learned to ignore Rajan. In fact we used to joke about him a lot. As the new month approached, we started having a 'Rajan Count Down'. It was like 'Five days to Rajan', 'Four days to Rajan',....'Ah, there he is...'

Sometime into this, when Rajan had become a habit into our lives, a new Managing Director, took charge of the organization. 

This guy was a no nonsense, IPS Cadre guy with tons of ambition and authority to match. He quickly took note of this erratic behaviour of Rajan and terminated his services from the company. 

And soon, somewhere into year 5 or 6 of our becoming aware of Rajan, he died, of Cirrhosis of Lever caused due to excessive drinking.

Jobless and without insurance.

It was sad.

The birthday gift to myself...

You can say I am naive....

Just look at the birthday gift that I decided to give myself.

I celebrated my birthday about three weeks back. As a gift I committed to myself that I will do a cycling trip around Mumbai.

I stay in Kopar Khairne, a little nook in the suburbs of Navi Mumbai (which itself is a suburb of Mumbai, so kinda 'Suburb Squared'...). The idea was to ride from my location all the way to Western Express Highway (the good ole authorities added 'Express' wishfully and lived to regret it I am sure) and return back having completed a full circle. As I saw it, it was so easy, what with an 18 gear cycle and the world at my feet, I could cross this hurdle like a breeze and back home before lunch.

All those actresses in the cycling ads do it effortlessly without even a single misplaced hair strand. So why can't  I?

When I thought of taking this ride, one question that came to my mind was whether I will have the energy to cover this distance. Justified to myself by using the equation E=MC2, since I had a mass of X Kg, I will have enough energy and some to cover this distance. I used every tool at my disposal, including Science, to motivate myself to undertake this adventure.

The most difficult thing about starting a long journey is taking the first step. Once you have done that everything else kind of falls in place. I spend an agonizing 45 minutes in the morning before I decided that I was going to go with this. You see, eventhough I have this romantic notion that I like cycling, this was serious business. I was going to go on a ride in a territory that I was not familiar with, the distance I did not have a clue on and the route I have never travelled, even by car.

Still I was going along with this trip. 

I am naive.

The route that I chose was as follows.

Start from Kopar Khairne--> Ghansoli -->Airoli Bridge --> Eastern Express Highway --> JVLR --> Western Express Highway --> BKC --> Sion --> Chembur --> Trombay --> Vashi --> Home

See? Breeze, isn't it?

It was with air in my tyres and spring in my steps that I started off on this adventure trip last sunday. I had a backpack which contained the coolers and a towel. 

I took the Ghansoli underpass and entered into the Thane - Belapur road, and took left turn into Mulund, went straight ahead and crossed the Airoli bridge....

I took, you know, the route.

When you start cycling, you will realize at some point, somewhere around the middle, that this whole adventure was a terrible mistake, that you hadn't bargained for how tough it is to meet your objective. Then to your consternation, you also realize that you have come long way and it doesn't make sense to turn around now. You might as well go through with. 

That is the tipping point, the inflection point, where a pleasure trip become a laborious exercise. 

For me, that happened somewhere on JVLR, just after Powai flyover. Later I realized that it was only 25% of my journey and I would have been better served had I turned back. But since I was not aware of the route and the magnitude of my challenge, I cycled on. 

One has to admit though, that the Mumbai roads are heaven for cyclists. 

Most of the roads are concretized. One these roads, the cycle just glides along, there is little resistance. Added to that is the fact that the city is flattish and hence you can cycle at a constant pace without having to get down and push it upslope like you have to do in some other cities.

Even in the roads that are tarred, there is hardly any potholes, unlike in Bangalore. 

When you are driving a car, you always go over the flyover to reach your destination faster. But when you are on a cycle, never cycle on a flyover. If there is a parallel road going below the flyover (most of them have) take that. The world lives below the flyover. By zooming over the flyovers, one miss all that is good about a city.

From Airoli bridge, you enter EEH and cycle for about 3 kilometers before you touch the JVLR (see next para for details. It was early morning and I saw a number of wannabe joggers jogging (well, what else are they expected to do? Dance?) on the service road. There was one old man who was jogging along with a lot of determination in his eyes. That was inspiring.

I also saw a Kenyan runner jogging on the service road. This guy was serious and you could see professionalism written on each of his strides. He was very thin with steel framed body. The word is lithe. He was so slim, slim as a.... well, if you keep this Kenyan and a reed side by side, you can tell the difference only because of the difference in colour. If by chance you pick a black reed, you have had it.

He was as thin as a reed (color of reed inconsequential...)

JVLR (Jogeswari - Vikhroli Link Road) is the road that connects WEH to EEH. The road is about 11 kilometers long. At the beginning of the road, I saw a taxi driver and asked him the directions to WEH. He was shocked. "Are you going to cycle to WEH?", he asked me incredulously, "it is very far". I told him (rather bombastically, I think) that I have 24 hours at my disposal. "Suit yourself", he told me, "you have to keep cycling straight".

And I cycled straight.

Eventhough I have travelled across India, I have not spent enough time in Mumbai. My current tenure is by far the longest that I have lived in this city. So cycling along this route, I covered some of those places that I have read about a lot but have never seen. The places like Powai, Sion, Andheri, Mulund, Saki Naka etc rang a bell as I cycled on. 

It was not that the ride was not tiring. It was. I grossly underestimated the distance and the effort that was required to cover this distance. Whenever I was tired and wanted to give up, I focussed on the next pedal. I focussed on individual pedals. I tried to count the number of pedals it required to cover a distance of approximately 100 meters. I told myself such motivational lines as 'Little drops of water makes a mighty ocean" and "You create a mansion one brick at a time" etc to keep me charged up. 

You may think that I was over reacting. But it is not easy being on a new city, being on the road without knowing where I was in relation to where I wanted to go. I think it would have been easy for me had I been aware of the lay of the land. Had I been familiar with the route that I was taking. When you know where you are in relation to where you want to go, the journey becomes easy. 

My friend, what applies to cycling also applies to life in general. 

(I hear some of you say that if I had a mobile with GPS, at least I would not have had to stop and ask for directions. But the pleasure of such a cycling journey is to talk to the lazy assess you see on the road and see the incredulity and admiration in their eyes. "What? !! you are coming from Vashi? That is a lot of distance, you mean that you cycled all that distance?". You can never hope to get that kind of admiration and feel the same kind of pride with a GPS). 

I started at 7.00 AM and reached home at 12 noon. On the way, just before I reached home, I drank a glass of the greatest, tastiest, sweetest Strawberry juice ever. 

A sweet way to cap a great day.

(Note: Yesterday morning, I retraced the same route. Despite being familiar with the route, the trip was emotionally tiring. While in the first trip, the thought was "OMG, I don't know how much more I have to travel", yesterday it was like "OMG, I still have to ride SOOO MUCH distance".

In the evening, I drove my car for the same distance and it came to about 60 Kilometers.)

The Good, bad and the ugly - 08-Dec-2012

The good

Air India......

I am a Saggittarius. Linda Goodman in her book 'Sun Signs' says that Sags (we call ourselves thus) do not hold grudges and like the fire sign that we are, we are quick to get angry and quick to forgive. 

I am a pure Sag. I am a sucker for quality and I forgive far too easily.

There was a time, not so long ago, I used to dislike Air India. Given an option, I used to give that airline a wide berth and opt for its (sometimes more expensive) competitors. The reason was that, just like any normal traveller, whose sole concern is to travel from A to B, and the airline, notorious for its internal problems, was almost always mired in controversies and flight cancellations. I did not have time to glorify the incompetence of this airline by bestowing my patronage to this airline. Daily news about strikes, cancellation and pathetic experience of the people who travelled by this airline, did little to change my low opinion of this airline. 

All these changed recently. 

Ever since Praful Patel was taken out of the aviation ministry, the airline has turned around. Gone are the days where the daily papers are filled with news of airline cancellation and the evening TV news is filled with interviews with agitated passengers, littering all over the airport.

I got a chance opportunity to fly the national carrier recently. Without asking me, my company had booked me by Air India. I remember that I was a bit sceptical about the airline as I left for the airport that early morning. 

My experience at the airport belied all my negative expectations. The staff was courteous (Previously, they were not), the check-in process was very efficient and the staff even guided me to the security check in. 

If I was expecting a casually maintained airline interior, I was delightfully wrong. The airline interior was very neat and inviting. The seats were of sober mix of Beige and Orange colour and added a glow to the aircraft. The staff was very courteous. The beautiful ladies in their red and black sarees  adorning their brilliant white pearl necklace exuded comfort and confidence that a nuevo young air hostess in a low cost airline could never hope to achieve.

Plus....

This is one of those airlines which still believes in the concept of Indian hosipitality. They still serve you food and beverages every time you travel by the airline.

And...

Yesterday I checked out the Air India Magazine. The cover was awesome. I felt proud about our National Airline.

I love you Air India....

In fact I have taken a frequent flier membership with the airline. 

I am not the only one that share this view. Check out this news item in today's news paper..

The bad...

Of course, it is the Indian sports. We are almost on the verge of losing the Kolkata Test to England.  Almost all the sports associations are being de-recognized or disqualified by knowledgeable international organizations, our athletes are feeling let down, Tendulkar is no longer scoring centruries, Indian Hockey team lost the semi finals of Champions trophy (for those enthusiastic supporters out there who feel that reaching the semis is a big deal for Indian Hockey, I want to point out that we lost to both Germany and Australia, the teams to beat). Until something is done soon, I will be forced to move Indian sports to the Ugly category.

Hope it doesn't come to that. 

And the Ugly....

Definitely the death of Jacintha Saldanha, the nurse involved in the Kate Middleton hoax call...

By now all of us know the story. Two RJs from the Australian radio station 2Day FM, Mel Greig and Michel Christian, made a hoax call to the on duty nurse at St.Edward VII hospital in London. The callers posed as Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles and wanted to know the latest update about the condition of 'Her Grand Daughter Kate'. The unsuspecting nurse, Jacintha, transferred the call to the duty nurse who gave a complete update about Kate's status.

Upon coming to know that she was taken for a ride, Jacintha, a 46 year old mother of two, died, supposedly a suicide.

The whole world is shattered along with the RJs who perpetrated this hoax. The radio station quickly suspended the show and took the RJs off the air.

Why did Jacintha commit suicide? What was the motive? Was it pressure, was is shame or was it the expected recriminations from the hospital that she worked for.

There are two points that I wish to make here.

First is that, as the hospital spokesman mentioned, the hospital did not have a documented process to handle telephone calls. It is not easy to take a call from someone who claims to be the Queen of England.  As someone told in a TV Panel discussion, it is not possible to ask the Id of Queen when you think that that is who is on line. How did the hospital handle this episode when it broke out? Did they support Jacintha? Did she have any friends in the hospital to confide in?

From the fact that she committed suicide, one can safely presume that this support did not materialize. Proof is in the pudding.

Second point is about the suicide itself. It seems that this lady was staying alone in London and would visit her family at Bristol over the weekend. I presume that the lonely lady was so stressed out of the whole affair, and with no one to console or confide in, would have given in to the pressure and taken her life. Would the results have been different had her family been staying with her?

I don't have any answers. I only know that I don't like this at all.

May god give the family strength to cope with their loss.

The good, bad and the ugly...05-Dec-12

The Good

This is an article from today's Hindu Business Line that made me proud of being an Indian.

A new global role awaits India

The author is Ashley J Tellis, who was a member of George Bush's negotiating team, who negotiated the Indo US Nuclear Treaty, in UPA 1 (that was so long ago). If you remember, that treaty gave India so much benefits in exchange of so little to be provided in return. That was vintage Manmohan Singh and that was the treaty that brought about the victory for UPA in the 2009 elections. Mr.Tellis is obviously a great fan of India and its people. He talks about how India, a multi racial, multi ethnic, multi lingual, multi cultural and a diverse country has defied so much of negative perceptions and has gone on to create one of the 20th Centuries greatest integration achievement. He paints a very bright future for our country. 

Then the bad.

This story  again in the same newspaper made a sad reading.

Indian ambience stifles talent 

This article is written by Mr.B S Raghavan, who is a well known, regular contributor, who writes the 'Offhand' Column for HBL, give different examples of how India is poor in identifying and nurturing talent. He gives examples of Srinivas Ramanujan, a low paid clerk in Tamil Nadu, how was identified and nurtured by Professor Hardy, and who thrived in the beneficial environs of England, to become one of the foremost mathematicians of his time. Mr.Raghavan rues the fact that while it is India the country that gave west the concept of' Jugaad (low cost innovation), it is very poor when it comes to harnessing that potential and convert it into a movement that can significantly change the direction of the country. Mr.Raghavan, illustrates the point by citing the  article on 'Hole In the Wall', written by Sekhar Kapur, where he talks of a small mobile repair place in the bylanes of Delhi, who repaired his Blackberry in 6 minutes flat !. In other countries, such innovation would have been identified, publicised and even converted to some kind of startup with lines of VCs available for financing. But not in India...

I agree with Mr.Raghavan that while we have abundance of talent, we as Indians do a poor job of harnessing that talent in a systematic manner.

What a waste....

And the ugly....

And finally, this story made me depressed

Indian Olympic Association banned by IOC

This article is written by KAROLOS GROHMANN for the Stuff, New Zealand. I choose this site for the simple reason to see how foreign media views this news. As per the article, The IOA has been directed by a Delhi court to hold the elections adhering to the government's sports code, while the IOC wants the governing body to abide by the Olympic charter.'.

The IOC has been angered by government interference in the elections and had warned the IOA in a letter of a possible suspension.

Kuwait which was also facing a ban, escaped the same by amending the Country's law.

What is the impact of this ban?

The ban means an effective end to funding from the IOC to the national Olympic committee (IOA), no Indian officials attending Olympic meetings and Indian athletes banned from competing at the Olympics under their country's flag.

I did not realize the full significance of this development, until I heard Vijender Singh on the TV today. 

According to him, this ban means that "I will not be able to stand on Olympic Podium carrying Tricolour". 

This is the dream of every sports person and for which he devotes an entire lifetime. And this has been denied by a set of corrupt politicians and their cronies. I can't even begin to imagine the magnitude of the effects of this ban on the Indian Sports persons.

While all the other countries are trying their best to invest in their Sports infrastrucure and win medals in International competitions, here is a ridiculous situation where we can't even do the the basic things right. In other countries, the Sports administrators works for the betterment of Sports and Sports persons, in this country, the Sports persons work for the betterment of Sports administrators. 

A classic case of putting a cart before the horse. 

I am proud of our sports persons in our country. Here, the dedicated sports persons and coaches, almost work entirely on their own, with their hands tied behind their back, go and win medals in international events. Imagine the kind of stuff they can achieve if the administrative apparatus is there to support them wholeheartedly.

A sad state of affair. 

Politicians, get out of my Sports

Countdown to new year....

I got this cool 'New Year Countdown' widget. You can download the same at 'Mycountdown' site. They have some cool widgets there.

How do  you get these widgets on your blog? Follow these simple steps, if your blog is on blogger.

1. Go to the above site and select the Widget you liked.

2. Copy the HTML code below the selected widget.

3. Open your blog and click on 'Layout' or 'Design'.

4. Click on Add a new Gadget. A popup window will open where you can select the gadget.

5. Scroll down and select 'HTML / Java Script'

6. Give the title. You can give any title of your choice

7. Paste the code that you copied earlier.

8. Save

Voila!!, the widget is now available on your blog. 

You are now in the 'Cool Person' territory.

Quick retributions....

They say that while the god sees every bad thing that happens around, but when it comes to delivering quick punishments, he is somewhat slipshod.

Examples abound.

You see corrupt people become richer with corruption. You see people taking advantage of the poor, without getting even as much as a minimalistic punishment in return. You see bad things happen all around, but do the perpetrators get any punishment, let alone quick?

No way. In fact corrupt become richer and leading luxurious lifestyles.

One is justified in asking, where is god? Where are the justifiable retributions that these guys so richly deserve?

When it comes to these people, god is notoriously lenient and laid-back.

However, when it comes to minor misdemeanor on my part, the almighty is always quick with his retributions. It is almost as if he is like my wife / boss, ready to pounce on my smallest of mistakes.

Else, how can you explain the following cases?

The other day, I was taking my son to an exam that he had to write. He had kept water bottle in his bag and at the gate, he opened the bag to take out his hall ticket for the exam and the water bottle tumbled out.

I got irritated. "Be careful when you open the bag. Ensure that nothing tumbles out", I scolded him. 

(Boy, ain't I glad I am not in Norway. In that good old country, people have been jailed for crimes minor.)

He didn't say a word. In fact, I am sure he did not even bother to listen to my admonitions.

But, there was someone else up there who was listening. 

After about 5 minutes, I opened my laptop bag to take out a book to read, lo and behold, my laptop fell down from the bag on to the concrete road below.

Did you see that? It was as quick a retribution as you can get for a very minor transgression.

Or take another case.

I was in Bangalore airport, early morning on a Monday, waiting to board my 7.30 (AM, mind you) flight to Mumbai. Having got up very early, (Bangalore airport being quite a good distance from my house), and it being a Monday morning, needless to say, I was not in one of those dandy, pleasant and affable moods of mine.

One of the great things about Bangalore airport is the spread of breakfast options that is available. You have everything from Continental, to North Indian, and South Indian cuisines available. One of the greatest food options available is 'Grab and Fly' where, by paying about 70 rupees (about 1.5 Dollars), you can get  a sumptuous breakfast of 'Mini Idly and Sambar (Smallish rise dumplings in Spiced Lentil)' or 'Upma (Coarse Wheat / Corn flour boiled in Onions and Chilli [Boy, I am good at this])'. Both options are delicious. 

Especially the Upma.

I stood in the 'Grab and Fly' line. At the counter, I asked and got the Upma.

While my order was getting ready, the guy behind me in the line also asked for Upma.

"Sorry sir Upma is over. You can take the Idly", said the genial guy at the counter (I am joking. No one can be genial early morning on a Monday. Grumpy is more like it).

I was proud that I got Upma and the next guy didn't. I felt as if I have won the competition. I gave him a sympathetic look, like I was Obama and he was Romney.

"Do you want Ghee?" asked the waiter to me.

What the heck. Even though I was on a diet and was exercising and never add Ghee to Upma, I thought it is worth giving a shot.

He added the ghee. The Upma was smelling delicious. I thought that the smell of the Ghee in the Upma will make the loser even more disappointed.

That thought made me happier.

With elaborate ritual (adding some sugar, carefully picking the spoon and fork). I brought the Upma to my seat. Preliminary to eating, I added sugar and made a show of deliberately and casually mixing the sugar in Ghee laden Upma. All the time casually looking around the airport for any acquaintances.

Cool guy preparing to have his breakfast, if you see what I mean.

Just as I was about to take in my first morsel into my saliva filled mouth.....

My hand hit the side of the plate and spilled the Upma all over. The ground, chair, the newspaper... There was Upma everywhere.

To add insult to injury, the white coconut chutney fell all over my black trousers.

What a mess.

A few moments ago, I was guilty of being filled with hubris. The guy above saw it, didn't like it, and gave me a quick retribution.

Why is it that when it comes to me, the retributions are swift, while when it comes to many others (Kalmadi, Bhanot etc for instance), the punishments are slow and never arriving?

Where is the justice, my good god? 

Ice cream sandwich and more.....

You can't judge me for what happened !!

I mean, look at the situation. Look at the context. Look at the circumstances....

I mean....

I was driving with my son in the car to somewhere in Jayanagar. I forget where I was going. I remember that I was driving. And my son was in the seat next to me.

These are times when I get my son as a captive audience. I am always on the lookout for giving "parental advices and guidance' to him when he is in the car. Most of the time the opportunity presents itself when my son asks me a question or make an observation.

I have this rare ability of identifying potential advices even out of on Non-Sequitars. Simple innocent observations... and I latch on to them and expound on them. Like some bubblegum or something.

My son has learned his lessons. He has learned to keep his trap shut when we are together in the car. But that doesn't stop me. An ad here, a road sign there, a tree somewhere....all these are 'advice catalysts' and advices pour forth out of me, non-stop, like Niagara falls...

It so happened that we were driving in front of 'Baskin Robbins'. You know, the Calorie and Cholestrol vendor...(I am joking. They have delicious, low cal ice creams) 

"I want to get 'Ice Cream Sandwich'" announced my taciturn son generally to the universe.

My parental antennae were up. This was the kind of observation that called for a detailed parental advising effort.

"Son, I want to tell you three things", commenced I.

Son made a face. Father ignored it and continued.

"One, someone has said that 'you should be careful what you wish for because you will get it'.  So think before you wish for anything. You know that I will buy you Ice Cream Sandwich if you want one. I don't want  to say no to you when you ask me for something to eat. But remember that Ice cream contains lot of calories and fat and is the number one cause of childhood obesity in the United States. While I will buy you Ice Cream Sandwich, you have to ensure that you do a lot of physical exercise. Only physical exercise will help you build your stamina..."

I was about to go on a narrative spree about the benefits of building physical stamina and endurance, but kept it aside for a later day.

"Two, you know that you are susceptible to cough and cold especially if you eat ice creams in winter season.  And now is winter season and you are old enough to understand the physical hazards of eating ice cream in this season. You have to be responsible to yourself and never let your cravings of junk food overcome your judgement (boy, am I good at making advices out of nothing?). If you want, I will buy you ice cream, but I wish that you will yourself say that you don't want it now"

I was on a roll....

"And three, let us analyse what is an ice cream made of. It is essentially some cream mixed with lots of sugar and some vanilla. Would you have eaten them, if given separately (well, may be sugar)? So why do you crave for a silly combination of things which you would not have eaten separately? Come on son, you are bigger than an Ice Cream Sandwich from Baskin Robbins....."

I stopped. Victorious, if you see what I mean.

To his credit, my son was absolutely silent during this monologue of mine. Expressionless, you know. Like a Tibetan monk or something....

Finally, he spoke.

"Appa", sez he, " ' Ice Cream Sandwich' is the name of the latest version of Android OS. I was talking about upgrading my Samsung mobile to the latest 'Ice cream Sandwich' OS Version".

The sound you just heard? The crumbling of my Parental Authority...