How do you handle failure?

Ever heard of Reinhart and Rogoff?

Carmen M Reinhart, is a Professor of International Financial Systems at Harvard Kennedy School and Kenneth S Rogoff is the Thomas D Cabot Professor of Public Policy and Professor of Economics at Harvard University.

These two Harvard economists wrote a paper in 2010 titled 'Growth in the time of debt'. The central point in the paper was that if the Debt to GDP ratio of a country crosses 90%, the country will slide into recession. 90% debt / GDP was the inflection point, the tipping point, where the growth turns into recession.

This theory, that excessive debt is bad for the country, had a certain ring of ethical overtones to it. It sounded right. All of know that excessive debt is bad, don't we? Don't we teach kids that borrowing is not good? Don't we all know of families who were ruined by debt? That debt was not good was intuitive. And now we have famous economists who told us that what we were thinking about all these days was correct. Debt was indeed bad for people, and it was bad for countries.

Many politicians and leading economists across the world accepted this thesis. In US, this was a manna from heaven that conservatives always wanted. They were always arguing for government to cut spending, and now their argument had a theoretical underpinning. In Europe most of the economists and politicians embraced this premise. 

Austerity wave hit Europe, Spain went into recession, Greece followed suit, Germany was struggling to recreate growth, Britain was elated that it grew 0.3%...

Unemployment mounted, the health benefits of old and infirm people were cut, businesses shut down...

Misery all around.

So what if people were suffering? We have Reinhart and Rogoff to prove that debt is bad.

That was till Thomas Herndon entered the picture. This 28 year old graduate student of Massachusetts Institute of Technology, was looking for a paper to prepare for his graduate thesis. He decided to analyse the findings of R&R. On review he found that the authors had made a terrible mistake in one of the formulas in their Excel calculations. Instead of selecting cells 30-49, they selected cells 30-44, missing out 5 key cells. When the data in these cells were incorporated into the calculations, at 90% debt level, the average growth rate was 2.2% and not -0.1% as propounded by R&R !!

Terrible mistake with catastrophic consequences. One with global impact, one which led to severe recession in countries of Europe, with many people becoming unemployed, old people not getting the medicines and food that they desperately needed...

All because 5 cells in an excel spreadsheet was missed. Rarely in history, you will find such rookie mistakes with such disastrous consequences.

Of course, this article is not about Reinhart or Rogoff, it is about you.

How will you handle this if you were either Reinhart or Rogoff? How will you handle mistakes? How do you approach failure? How have you approached failure? Of course you have failed sometime in life. All of us have. How did we adapt? What did we learn? Did we get over it? I know that I have not got over some of my failures. They still rankle.

The point is that all of us fail some time in our lives. There is no one out there who have been 100% successful in whatever we do. To the outside world, our failures may not look as gigantic as that made by R&R. But to us, they are the biggest. We know that no one out there has suffered failures as much as we have. 

We may have made mistakes, we may have been failures in the past, but we have to get over and move on. While we are in our failures, there is one thing that we can and should do. Reflex. Think about your failure. Learn from it / them. Take positives from your failures, leave the negatives behind.

After all, that is called growth.

Here is a list of 50 people who failed initially before becoming international successes.

Cogito Ergo Sum...

Caveat: This is not a treatise on philosophy.

In 1644, the French philosopher, Rene Descartes (known for the concept of 'Cartesian Coordinates') postulated the famous statement 'Cogito Ergo Sum', which translated into English means 'I think, therefore I am'. The philosopher was trying to answer the question, whether everything around him (including himself) existed or not (What we Indians call as 'Maya'). Descartes said that the very act of doubting your existence proves your existence.

That is not the point.

The point is 'I think, therefore I am'. In other words, 'I am what I think'. 

In life, you invariably become what you think you are. If you always think positive, always think like a winner, always think that obstacles are nothing but obstacles which need to be overcome, then you are a winner. 

On the other hand, if you always worry, if you always find problems, if you always think failure, if you always think of obstacles as insurmountable, then you are a loser. 

Note that just because you think you are a winner or a loser, you have NOT BECOME a winner or a loser. The point is that your thoughts will lead to corresponding set of action and you will strive to prove your thoughts right. 

If you think you are a loser, you will strive to lose. That  is the only way that you can prove yourself right. Everyone wants to prove themselves right all the time.

On the other hand, if you think you are a winner, you always try to win. The occasional failures are temporary setbacks. 

Which lead me to the most important postulate

If you want to change your situation in future, change your thoughts now. Change your beliefs, think positive, think that you can do it, think that you can win, keep thinking positive. 

You will start to change visibly in a short span of time. 

Yow will become what you think you are.

Let me round off this article with two beautiful poems that illustrate my point.

The Victor: 
By C W Longnecker

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't,
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It's almost a "cinch" you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world you find
Success begins with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.

Full many a race is lost
Ere ever a step is run;
And many a coward fails
Ere ever his work's begun.
Think big and your deeds will grow,
Think small and you'll fall behind,
Think that you can and you will;
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But sooner or later, the man who wins,
Is the fellow who thinks he can.

Don't Quit
by: Unknown Author

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns.

And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Shrodinger's Cat...

What is Shrodinger's Cat? Ever heard of it?

In 1935, Austrian Physicist, Erwin Shrodinger came up with a thought experiment. 

Let us say that you put a cat inside a box with a vial of Hydrocynic acid which opens based on a random event. Once the vial breaks, the cat is dead. 

Since the vial breaks based on a random event, the question is: 

At any point in time is the Cat alive or dead?

The answer is that we are not sure until the box is opened. 

What is the relevance of Shrodingers' cat to a blog on Personal Growth?

I recently moved to Mumbai. I live in Koparkhairne and on multiple Sundays I wanted to go to see different places in Mumbai. But I was not sure of the route, not sure of which bus to take, not sure of .....

So I kept putting off weeks after weeks.

Finally I ventured out about two weeks ago and the experience was very pleasant. I enjoyed the bus ride, I enjoyed the crowd, I enjoyed the walks, the local train....

I understood that Bombay was a lot of fun only when I started venturing out. 

That is Shrodingers' cat there. Till you open the box, you don't know if the cat is alive. Till you go out you don't know that Bombay is fun.
Another example. I was always scared of taking responsibility of the work of others. I always worried about taking a leadership role. Due to this fear, I moved from one individual consulting assignment to another. Recently I decided to take the plunge. I joined a company as the Head of IT.
Now I see that I have a flair for the job and I am enjoying the work and the role. I am having so many positive changes to my personality and I am learning something new everyday.
Now I am wondering why I did not opt for such roles earlier. I had the required credentials for the job, but the fear of taking responsibility made me to keep putting it off.
When I got another opportunity, finally I decided to make that leap. I am happy that I took it even though it involved some personal sacrifices. If I had not taken that leap, I would still carry the fear of responsibility in my mind.
There is your cat. Till I opened the box, I did not know if it is alive. Till  I took up the assignment, I did not know if I was capable of handling it. 

Till you venture, you don't know if you can run your business

Till you run, you wont know if you can run a Marathon

Till you go for classes, you wont know if you are IT Savvy

Till you go for it, you wont know if you can do cross-country cycling

Till you do it, you wont know if you can do it.

Till you open the box, you wont know if the cat is alive.

So, if you are doubtful about doing anything, think of Shrodinger and his cat. Remember that you wont know what you are capable of until you try.

Need for 'Clarity of Purpose' in life...

You know what is the most important problem in life?

The most important problem is that we will know what is good for us only after the opportunity has passed. 

Too many people take current decisions based on past experiences, without basing the same on expected future. Even when considering past experiences, the focus in always on what went wrong in the past. What happened in the past is hardly relevant to the current decision, but most of us use that as a guiding post in making our decisions.

If not based on the past, our current decisions are based on the current problems, what is known as 'Recency Effect'. 

If at all we consider the future, it is only to consider the expected challenges in the future.

Add to it is the fact that many of us do not know what they want, what is our purpose in life.

By using the negative experiences in the past, the current challenges (which appear huge), by always considering the negative aspects of future and without a clear purpose to give us direction  to our life, it is no wonder that we end up making wrong decisions, with significant long term consequences.

It will be a surprise if we can make right decisions with so many 'Overheads'. 

It is sad.

Take for example the case of Rohit. He is a friend of mine. He was one of the early implementers of ERP in India. He was implementing ERP in the late 90's and early 2000s. In 2001, he got an offer to implement ERP in one of the African Countries (I think it was for a Nigerian Oil Company). The compensation was a whopping 1700 Pound a day plus all expenses covered. This works out to about 2 lakh Rupees a day !!

It was huge.

But Rohit did not take the offer. As he told me, at that time he had got married to a colleague and his wife had reservations about going to Nigeria. She was also working in the same company as Rohit and she did not want to disrupt her career. Also, he read in papers that there was internecine violence in Nigeria, even though he was assured full Security and the area where he was suppose to be working was not Violent.

Also, Africa was not very sexy. All his colleagues were going to exotic places like US, Europe, UK etc and he was hesitant to go to Africa. He was not sure if he will get the same facilities in Africa that he was accustomed to.

Having missed this great opportunity, his career went on a limbo. Let me modify this statement. Having carried this paradigm of decision making, his career went into a limbo. His company gave him the option to choose the country that he wanted to work. He declined the offer and said that he wanted to work only in India. His company did not have any opportunity for his skills in India. He left the company soon after. As he moved around from one company to another, only the constant that he carried with him was the paradigm of always looking back and regretting the various decisions that he made in life. 

When you talk to him, the predominant theme is that of regret. He regrets that he did not take the Africa offer. He regrets that he did not go to US or Europe when his boss gave him the opportunity. He regrets that his career is in a limbo. He is always carrying his regret along with him.

It is obvious that he has the requisite knowledge and expertise. But it is also very clear that he has lost his Mojo.

Take the case of another of my friends, Sunder.

He is expert in a niche technology which is very useful for many organizations. In 2007, he got an opportunity to work in Australia at a rate of 700 USD per day plus all expenses taken care. He declined the offer because he read in papers that Indians were getting killed in Australia !!. 

Why did highly intelligent people like Rohit and Sunder make the wrong choices? Why are they carrying the impact of the choices even now, after almost a decade? Why were they focusing on non-relevant parameters while making critical decisions?

More importantly, what do they do now? What do WE do in such situations?? How do we make good career decisions?

In my opinion, there are three aspects to consider.

First, it is very important to know what we want and what is important to us. What is important? Career, Family, Money, Recognition? We have to decide. It should be the peg around which our decisions should be based. If we have a strong base, our decisions will not go wrong.

Second, do not be afraid of the future. Fear of future (euphemistically called 'Risk') is always based on the past experiences and / or current experiences. Rephrase 'Risk' as 'Future Experience'. If we do that mental paradigm shift and start calling Risk as 'Future Experiences', our perspective will change. We will start thinking about future far more positively and as an opportunity to mold. After all, we cannot control our past experiences, but our future experiences are always under our control. Considering 'Risk' as 'Future Experiences  will give us a sense of control on our life. We may not be able to control 'Risk' (because it is perceived as external to you), but we can always control our 'Future Experiences' (because the control is internal), can't we?

Third, do not regret. Like I mentioned earlier, we cannot control the past experiences, but we can always control the future experiences. So focus always on what we can control and not on what is uncontrollable. This will make us more positive and we will start inviting positive experiences in life.

So, from this moment, pledge to that 'You will always focus on Future and try to control the future experiences. You will look at past only to take the right lessons'.

All the best.

Three Productivity Tools that anyone require....

There are three common factors that link a working professional, a home maker or a business person.

There are things to do....

There are schedules to adhere to...

There are things to follow up...

You can improve your productivity by identifying and documenting the things to do, carefully scheduling them and following up with the people who have to do some of the tasks that are important for you.

Things To Do (TTD): The main characteristic of things to do is that these are tasks which YOU have to do. You cannot delegate these tasks to others. These are random list of items that you have to complete at some point in time. This may be as simple as taking the medicine or writing a new post in your blog or writing that email. The funny thing about this list is that the points will come to your mind at any time and if you do not jot down the thing to do as soon as you remember them, the chances are that you will forget them. 

Another characteristic of things to do is the priority. Some tasks are more important than the other. You should be able to prioritize these tasks. If you do not prioritize the tasks, all the tasks will become urgent at some point in time and you will have time only for urgent tasks and your important tasks are relegated to the background.

Yet another characteristic of things to do is the location. Each task has a location. You can improve your productivity by arranging the tasks by location and when you are planning to go to a particular place, you can complete all your tasks of that location. 

When to do, Schedule: Associated with things to do (TTD), is the Schedule. You must decide when you are going to do the same. Some of the tasks are urgent and will be scheduled. However, the key aspect of scheduling is to find time for the important tasks of your life. You have to schedule two hours a day for studying on that certification, find time for your annual health check up. While you are scheduling, ensure that you only schedule the tasks that are in your Things To Do (TTD) list. In other words, ensure to have a linkage between the TTD list and your schedule. The best approach will be to schedule the tasks as soon as you add them to your TTD list. However, for best results, prepare TTD through the week and prepare a Schedule on a particular day, may be on Sunday. This will help you review your priorities and schedule the top priority tasks first before you focus on your lower priority tasks.

Tasks To Be Followed Up (TTBFU): The key characteristic of these tasks are that, while you are responsible for these tasks, 'SOMEONE ELSE' has to actually do these tasks. This list has two parts, one, there is a list of tasks and two, there is a person (other than you) who complete these tasks. While it is difficult to schedule these tasks, they may have linkages to some of the tasks in your TTD list. These may be very important for you, but you have no control on TTBFU.

To improve your productivity, you have ensure that you have a comprehensive list of TTD and TTBFU and have a detailed schedule to do these tasks.

Being a working professional, who still use my Laptop to handle most of my work, I am always on the lookout for various Windows based applications to track my tasks and schedule my activities. 

What do I want?

One, I want an application that will help me list down my TTD list. There should be ways in which I will be able to identify the top priority items and also I should be able to group these tasks by location.

Two, I want an application that will help me prepare a weekly schedule my tasks

Three, I want an application that will help me track the items that I have to follow up.

I did some Google search to find out some applications that will help me handle these requirements. As I understood, it is very difficult to find an application that can do all the three. While you can still find a task and calendar application, there are no application that will handle TTBFU. I downloaded the following Things To Do (TTD) applications.

1. Wunderlist
2. GeeTeeDee
3. Google Desk Top

While the first two are comprehensive apps with the facility to create tasks with additional details like responsibility and schedule, Google Desktop is just a task list application. All the three can be installed on you Windows Laptop.

When it comes to Calendar, I found that Outlook Calendar is by far the best Calendar Application. The only problem is that this application is available only on a license basis. Another Calendar Application is Google Calendar. The main advantage of this application is that it is from Google and is integrated with your Gmail.

The disadvantage of Google Calendar is that it is not a desktop application, though I understand that recently Google has released a Desktop widget for Google Calendar.

So I was on the web, looking out for a good task cum calendar application, which is free, and I came across 'Rainlendar'. This is a very good application with integrated Task and Calendar feature and which can be easily installed and is intuitive.

It comes in two versions, the basic version is free, while the Pro version is chargeable.

I am still on the lookout for an application that can handle Tasks Follow up. I am yet to find one.

I think I am stuck with Excel for task follow up.

Do you know of any apps that can help me follow up on the tasks? That will complete my portfolio.

13 Action Items for 2013

It is a bit late in 2013. Here are 13 action items that I will be putting into practice in 2013.

1. Pray five minutes every day before going to bed
2. Meditate for five minutes every day between 5.55 and 6.00 AM
3. Read two self-help books every month
4. Spent lots of time with family. 
5. Spent quality time with my son helping him to do well in his studies 
6. Work very, very hard. Work to my fullest potential
7. Plan and review: I will spend two hours every Sunday preparing Weekly plan. Prepare to do list and follow it up rigorously. Before going to bed, review the plans for the next day. 80 Percent of my time will be spent only on planned activities every day.
8. Go to Gym every day from 6.15 AM to 7.30 AM. To ensure that I exercise everyday, I will carry my Gym Shoes wherever I travel.
9. Eat well: I will eat at least one fruit every day, eat only 'Sattvik' food.
10. Write at least two blog posts in my professional blog (http://erp-consultancy.blogspot.com) and personal blog (this blog) every week
11. Review and update my Linkedin Profile once a month.
12. Prepare Budget and Cut spending. Get a mail approval from self before spending more than 1000 rupees. Plan for any expense above 1000 rupees.
13. I will always think positive and maintain my sense of humour. I will repel negativism all the time.

Obesity: The silent killer

I was listening to a panel discussion on the Bill Maher Show. The topic dealt with Obesity related illnesses.

Did you know that for the first time in the history of the world, in this year, more people died of Obesity related illnesses than due to poverty? This is a fascinating statistic.

Why are more people becoming obese? Is it bad food habits?

The reason according to the expert is that people eat more calories than nutrition. The reason is not that people like to eat calories. The reason is that Calories are cheap and nutrition is expensive. Calories provide the 'bang for the buck' that the nutrition do not provide. For example, for 3 dollars, you can get a MacDonald burger with all its fats and preservatives, but you can hardly buy anything nutritious with 3 dollars.

It seems the world over, calories are subsidized by the governments. The calories are big business. The calorie business is organized and is manned by some of the most high profile companies like MacDonald, KFC, PizzaHut, Dominos etc. These bring huge revenues to the governments in the form of taxes and they get a lot of tax breaks from the government. 

However, the nutrition industry is still disintegrated world over. The fruit and vegetable industry is still manned by small and marginal farmers the world over. So they do not have the organizing and lobbying capability of big businesses. 

Out of 100 Dollars of Subsidy, 70 Dollars go to the Calories food industry, 29 Dollars go to Calorie Drinks industry and only 1 Dollar goes to the nutrition industry.

So to me it seems that it is very easy to fight obesity. Just reallocate the subsidy in favor of nutritious foods like fruits and vegetables.

Be a vegetarian...

What say?

How do you influence people on a large scale?

Every day morning, while coming back from the gym, I see the rising sun.

Nowadays, summer is setting in here in India and the morning Sun, even at that early morning, shines bright and .... well.... sunny.

Watching the sun rising in the morning is an awe inspiring sight. Also it is wonderful and never ceases to amaze me to watch sun rise and shine its light on the entire world.

Nowadays, I have started praying to the Sun God. The prayer goes like this.

"Oh my sun god, just like the way you shine your light on the entire world, remove darkness and bring clarity to the world, I also want to shine my light on the entire world and influence the universe. Please help me to fulfill my wish."

I analysed as to how Sun was bringing light to the world. The objective was to understand and learn any lessons from the Sun God on how to influence huge number of people at the same time.

Here are a few of the lessons that I think are relevant.

1. Focus: The Sun is a very small speck in the entire universe. While shining, it doesn't try to light up the entire universe. The focus of the sun is to light its planet earth. The entire light of the sun is focused on lighting up the earth. Likewise, if you want to achieve anything, you need to focus like a laser beam, let your 'Teesari Aankh' see only your goal and the whole internal energy should be focused on the goal. 

2. Consistency: Every day in the morning, like a clockwork, or shall we say 'Sunwork', the sun rises in the east, lights up the earth and sets in the west. At night when we (the people in the earth who are beneficiaries of the God's munificence) know that the Sun will be there the next day, next month, next year, till eternity, lighting up the mother earth. This helps people to plan their activities years in advance. Imagine what could have been the outcome if the Sun was inconsistent. You would never be able to plan anything. For example, try going out without an umbrella in a rainy season. You will not be able to plan. Consistency of sun provides the opportunity to plan your work effectively. 

Likewise always be consistent in whatever you do. Another word for consistency in personal life is Integrity. A person who has integrity will have consistency in his thoughts, words and deeds. Like the consistency of  sun allows others to plan, the personal integrity allows others to plan their personal life around you. Be it in business or in personal life, always fill yourself with integrity and also, always associate yourself with people of integrity. 

3. Perpetual Motion: Right from the time it rises to the time it sets, the sun is always on the move. The movement allows the sun to shine its light on various areas of the planet. There is nothing called inertia as far as the sun is concerned. The movement allows the sun to spread its sphere of influence.

Take cue from the sun, always be on the move. Never fall pray to inertia. Never fall pray to lethargy and lassitude. No amount of personal competence can help you if you fall pray to inertia and procrastination.

Be alert, be aware, be like sun.

4. Remember your limitations, don't spread it too thin, don't cast your net too wide: No matter how hard the sun may try, it cannot light up the entire earth at the same time. At any time, the sun can light up only one side. Just like sun, which works within its limitations, analyse and evaluate yourself and identify your strengths and weaknesses. Always work within your strengths and avoid the weaknesses. Remember, even sun cannot light up the entire earth at the same time !!

5. Take enough rest, chill out!: The sun works for about 12 hours in giving light and takes rest for the remaining part of the day. Similarly, ensure to plan your tasks in such a way as to factor in rest and relaxation.

6. Pace yourselves: One of the characteristics of sun is that at the beginning of the day, it is less bright, becomes brighter as the day goes by and gradually cools down and winds up. This is an excellent lesson. Marathon runners never start off at a great pace. They start slowly and builds up pace. As another example, a gym instructor always asks you to 'Warm Up' before you start doing rigorous exercises. We sometimes tend to forget these basic lessons. We start off at a great pace, soon gets tired and stop. And then blame the tool!.
Learn from Sun on how to pace yourselves so that you can exert the maximum influence.

Success philosophies of West and East...

Ever heard of Jean Petit?

She is an American Lady who did her first Skydiving from a height of 13000 feet at the ripe young age of 84. Former President of the United States, George H W Bush, did his first skydiving at the age of 80, slightly younger.

Why am I saying this?

Jean Petit, in the interview with an American Magazine told that she felt that she will be missing something if she did not do Skydiving at least once in her life. She said that she had only this life to live and that she wanted to fulfill all her wishes before she dies. 

While reading this I was thinking an average Indian of her age. From the age of 70, they will be doing the rounds in various temples. Their 'Bucket List' will include visiting Vishnodevi shrine, Kailas Parbat if possible, Char Dham and having a dip in the Sangam. They will want to go on a pilgrimage to 'Kasi' ( a sacred place in North India) to do penance and follow it up with a dip in Rameshwaram (Southern most tip of India). The  objective is to wash off all the sins that they committed in their life. 

Indians believe in the concept of Reincarnation. We believe that every soul have to be born 7 times in this earthly world as any living being (it can be a human being, an animal or even trees and bushes). This birth and rebirth is called the 'Cycle of Life'. If you do good in this life, you will be born to a better environment in the next incarnation. After the seven incarnations, the soul attains what is known as 'Nirvana' or 'Moksha' which is the liberation from the 'Cycle of Life'

It is obvious that this difference in perspective between west and Indians have significant behavioral implication. One of them is illustrated in the story of Jean mentioned above.

Some of the other implications to the belief in the 'Cycle of Life' are,

1. Not helping poor and the suffering: People in the west believe that they have a moral obligation to help the poor and the needy. We in India believe that the poor person is undergoing suffering because of the sins committed in the previous incarnation and that it is his destiny to go through this suffering. The thought is 'I also would have suffered like you in my previous Janam. One has to go thru this suffering for the soul to be purified'. More than any one, Gunther Grass, a German born Indophile, has pointed out this aspect in many of his writings on India.

2. Different concepts of time: For Indian's the concept of time is straddles across 7 lives. Due to this belief, he do not show any urgency (for example related to their careers) for completing important tasks. Westerners, on the other hand are always in a hurry, to the extent of even hurrying to relax ('make haste slowly'). The stretchable concept of time a lot of stress related disorder, where as Americans, in their wish to complete all the important tasks in the current life (creation of 'Bucket List') are susceptible to much more stress in their quest to fill their life with targets and meet them quickly.

3. Different 'Bucket Lists': The Bucket List of westerners is filled with material goals and physical tasks to be completed in this life. The Bucket List of many of the Indians include visiting as many temples and places of worship as possible. 

4. Perspective of death: For most Indians, death is the liberation from the current suffering and a step forward towards the attainment of the ultimate goal of attaining 'Nirvana'. For westerners, death is the end of you as a person and it has an air of finality attached to it. Indian looks at it with detachment and possibly anticipation (after a particular age, I think) while for an average westerner, death is dreadful no matter what your age is. 

It has to be noted that Indians are not alone in their belief in Reincarnation. Most of the ancient civilization believed in it as well. Egyptians believed that their dead will come back and hence they embalmed their dead.  Mayans and Incas believed in it as well. Even now, many of the South Americans, despite being Catholic by religion, believe in the concept of reincarnation. This concept is best illustrated in the novel 'The Aleph' written by Paulo Coelho.

What are the implications of the above to the quest for success? I think the most important one is that Success in India is viewed in more Spiritual terms rather than in physical terms as is the case in west. There are other implications to this difference in perspective, such as:

1. Sense of Urgency V/s. 'Chalta Hai' attitude: The western culture, with its focus on Yolo, or one life to live, attaches a lot of urgency to accomplishment of material targets. The focus is on achievement, material possessions, and quickly climbing the corporate ladder. Material possessions like bank balance, palatial home, beach front apartments etc are viewed as symbols of success. Since you have only one life to life, the focus is on filling it with as much material possessions as possible. There is a sense of urgency to the way in which westerners view the tasks to be accomplished

Where as in India, the concept of time is stretchable. You know that you have seven 'opportunities' to accumulate material possessions. What that means is that an average Indian do not set material goals and even if he sets it, do not follow it up with the same level of dedication as an average american.

2. Lack of Stress: As mentioned previously, the sense of urgency to achieve material targets creates a sense of stress. For a westerner, an opportunity lost is an opportunity lost. Whereas an Indian do not go through similar levels of stress. For an Indian an opportunity lost is only an opportunity postponed.

3. Focus on 'Self Awareness': One of the concepts of Indian philosophy is the focus on 'Aham', loosely translated as 'I' or 'Self'. The philosophy encourages you to spend time understanding self. Understand your strengths, understand what you know, what you do not know, what are your goals both material and spiritual etc. 

4. Internalizing the pain and suffering: Since Indians think that whatever bad that happens to them is retribution for the sins that were committed in the past incarnation, there is a tendency to internalize pain and suffering. Pain and suffering are considered to be some of the ways in which you wash of your sins so that you get a great life in your next incarnation. Other cultures on the other hand externalize their pains and suffering thru verbal and sometimes physical assault.

5. Passivity to the wrong that is happening around you.: This is same as the point I mentioned sometime ago. There is a sense of passivity to people in trouble, to the bad things that happen around you, to take corruption in stride...

6. 'Sub Kucch Dekha Hai' (Have seen it all) attitude: India is a culture that has seen more than 5000 years of ups and downs. This means that they have seen virtually any calamity that is possible and have bounced off from these calamities. Whenever something bad happens, the collective consciousness know that this too will pass. This provides the culture with an eternal optimism, which sometimes lead to passivity and inaction.

Success philosophies or East and West differ, in my opinion, on the different perspectives relating to Finiteness of time. West work from a finite time perspective, whereas east, especially India, work from the perspective of extensibility of time. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages. Smartness lies in integrating the perspectives and creating your own concept of time.

Perspectives....

1. Bachelor
Takdir hai magar kismat nahin Khulti,
Taj Mahal banana chahta hun, magar Mumtaz nahin milti

2. Lover
Takdir hai magar kismat nahin khulti,
Mumtaz mil gayi hai, magar Shadi nahin karti

3. Married
Takdir hai magar kismat nahin khulti
Taj mahal banana chahta hun, magar Mumtaz nahin marti

My friend Sharma...

Sharma, full name Ravi Singh Sharma, is my friend.

He was my colleague when I was working as an engineer in SAIL. Those were the days.

Nice guy, this Sharma friend of mine. Kind of intense, though. Kind of ridiculous as well.

He wants to impress everyone. He wants everyone to like him. He always tries to be nice to people in a mushy kind of way. 

Such kind of people always give you good stories. Here are a couple of such incidents. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It was the early 90's. Sharma and I were working in the Power Plant as Operations Engineers. Our manager was Brijesh Gupta. 

Nice guy, this Brijesh Gupta. From Kanpur. Suave and polished in a 'Nawabi' kind of way. Always calls people with the suffix of 'Ji', like SharmaJi, SinhaJi etc. 'Ji' is a mark of respect.

Except that Guptaji always called me Ramu.

Guptaji's wife's name is Kamal and he and Kamal has a son, Rahul, who is about five years old.

Please note, Kamal is normally a man's name in India.

One day evening, Shamaji reached Guptaji's house. A casual visit.

Guptaji lived in a small, one bed room apartment. As you enter the house, you first see the kitchen. Just opposite to the kitchen is the bathroom and the hall. The bedroom is to the right of the hall.

Small apartment, that.

Anyways, when Sharmaji reached the house, Kamal was in the bathroom. Rahul was playing at a corner in the hall.

Guptaji welcomed Sharmaji in that effusive, suave way of his. 

"Come on Sharmaji, come on in. Please be seated".

Just to ensure that Kamal is aware that Sharmaji, a visitor, is in the house, Guptaji shouted, "Kamal, see who has come? Sharmaji is here".

Kamal heard this in the bathroom. Being the honourable Bharathiya Nari that she is, she did not respond. With that mysterious communication channel that exist between husbands and wives, Guptaji relaxed, knowing that the message has reached the bathroom.

No, not Sharmaji...

Sharmaji heard Guptaji talking to Kamal. Shamaji could see only a kid playing in the corner. Sharmaji thought that that kid's name was Kamal.

Sharmaji decided to unleash his charm offensive. If you want to impress your boss, start with his child.

"Come on Kamal, how are you Kamal?" Sharmaji set the charming process in motion.

If Guptaji was taken aback by the surprising turn of events, he did not show it. Impassive as Buddha, was Guptaji.

"How are you Kamal, my boy? What do you like, Kamal? Want to play with uncle? Come to Uncle Kamal. Come to me. Sit on uncle's lap, Kamal..." Off went Sharmaji on and on.

This is where the situation reached the limit as it were. Who knows where it could lead to from 'Uncle's Lap'? 

Guptaji suavely intervened. "Shamaji, that is Rahul", Guptaji trailed off, feverishly hoping that Sharmaji takes the hint.

People like Sharmaji do not take these hints so quickly. It took about a minute or so before Sharmaji got it.

"Oh....", muttered Sharmaji like a deflated balloon or something.

"I am very sorry, Guptaji, I am very sorry", Sharmaji would have probably apologized and continued apologizing hadn't Kamal come with some Chill drinks.

Ramu, Guptaji? Really?. Why not Ramaji or something?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sudeshda was another of our managers.

Sudeshda's name is Sudesh Bannerji. Adding 'da' to the first name is a mark of respect and affection in Bengal.

Sharmaji reached Sudeshda's house.

Sudeshda welcomed Sharmaji. Sharmaji's experienced eyes espied a lady in the kitchen and a kid playing around in the guest room.

Sharmaji added two and two together.

"Sudeshda", Sharmaji began his charm offensive, "Your son looks very smart. Looks just like you"

An embarrassed silence in Casa Sudesh. Sudeshda looked at the lady, the lady looked at the Kitchen Chimney...

"Sharmaji", replied Sudeshda, "This is my brother's son. My brother stays with me. I am not married yet"

Pregnant, uncomfortable moments.

"Oh", said Sharmaji

That said it all...

The 'Parent' Trap...

There were three of us in that restaurant

Ana Lina, Suren and me.

Well there were other customers in that restaurant, but when Ana Lina is there, others pale into insignificance.

Ana Lina is a very beautiful woman...(What additional ingredient did god add to make these Latina Ladies so beautiful and sexy? )

Tall and lean and with a naughty smile on her pretty face...

No wonder Suren and I were besotted. Sitting on either side, with radiant Ana Lina in the middle, we were as excited as little children in the first day of the school

This was our project team party. We were doing a project in Bogota, Colombia. We were in an Italian Restaurant, sipping Wine, Beer and Champagne.

Suren was having red wine, I was imbibing my beer and Ana Lina, the 'Oh, the lovely Ana Lina' was having her share of Champagne.

It cost us a bomb, getting her to drink this expensive fluid,  but we didn't mind.

Suren, as is his wont, started off by asking intrusive, personal questions. I thought the questions were offensively personal, but the Champagne Chugging La Chica Bonita didn't seem to mind. 

In fact she was enjoying all the attention from a couple of smitten admirers from across the two Oceans (The Atlantic and Indian Ocean).

"Are you married, Senorita?" asks Suren.

'Wrong question !!' I think to myself. Never start by asking a woman if she is married. Think of the implications man. What will she think? That we are trying to hit on her? Of course we are trying to, but be a bit Suave.

Ana Lina, surprisingly did not seem to mind. She laughed her pretty laugh, showing off all her pearly whites, elated to be called 'Senorita', which is Spanish for 'Young Lady ' (normally referring to an unmarried girl). 

"Do you mean mi Casada?. I am married?" she wanted to confirm.

"Yes", responded the stubborn Suren. "Are you married?".

"Si, yes", Ana responded like a Spanish interpreter or something. Pretty paraphraser, though.

"What is your husband's name?", Suren persisted.

"Nombre de mi Esposo? Name of my..., what do you say, Spouse?" responded the ravishing lady.

"Yes", responded Suren.

"Nombre su hombre" (Name of your man), I butted in, just to show my command over Spanish Language.

Ana Lina gave me a cold look. She definitely did not like the interruption.

"His name is Haavierr (Javier)", whispered La Mujer Linda in that sexy voice of hers, stretching her 'Rrr' (like Kareena saying 'Namkeen Butterrrrr' in the 'Fevicol Song').

"Every man in Bogota is either Javier or Jaime. If you throw a stone in Bogota, it will fall on a Javier or a Jaime...Ha ha ha...." I laughed at my own joke. No one did. My ebullience trailed off.

Ana Lina gave me a cold look. Suren gave me a cold look. I looked at my Beer, trying to see my image. 

The beer felt hot.

Not a day for jokes, this.

Suren and Ana Lina continued as if I did not exist.

"Do you have a photograph of your husband?" queries Suren.

I groan. Suren is getting more and more personal. And he is spoiling a good day with a beautiful lady by asking to see her husband's photograph. Why does he want to do that? Now she will come up with her husband's photograph, with a couple of photos of her kids thrown in for good measure. A bonus. She wants to show to world her husband's potential. 

"This is my husband Haavierr", responds the lovely Lina, as if on cue. "And this is my son, Adrian". Ah, the bonus.

Just keep on saying Haavierr, you dazzling damsel. I can spend the whole day listening to you stressing your Hs and stretching your Rs.

What is Suren's next move?

"Your husband is quite handsome. Broad forehead, smiling eyes...", Suren was definitely going somewhere with this though I did not have a clue as to where.

"Your son looks just like Javier", continued the fatuous fellow. "Boy is very handsome, definitely taken from his father, you can see the same broad forehead", Suren threw in a compliment for good measure.

Ana Lina smiled her bewitching smile. "Adrian is my son from my first husband. I and Javier are married only since the last six months..."

I spilled my beer.

MSP: Of Moon and Six Pence...

The book 'The Moon and Six Pence' written by the great writer Somerset Maugham  deals with the story of Charles Strickland, a middle-aged stock broker in London, who leaves his wife and children and moves to Paris in search of Art and Beauty.

After struggling for a long time in Paris, Strickland moves to Tahiti, where he spent his last few years before dying of Leprosy.

During his years in Paris and Tahiti, Strickland created many works of art. The best of them, his magnum opus were painted on the walls of his house, just before his death. After his death, as per his last wishes and the custom in Tahiti, the house was burnt down.

The story starts off when Strickland's wife, convinced that her husband left her for another woman, asks their mutual friend, Maugham, to go to Paris and convince her husband to return to London.

Maugham travels to Paris and meets Strickland. His interaction with Strickland make fascinating reading. In his restrained and subtle way, Maugham elicits the best or worst out of the various characters in the story.

When Maugham tells Strickland that it is wrong to leave his wife for another woman, Stickland replies that he just left his wife, not for any other woman. There is no woman in Strickland's life.

This puts Maugham in a spot. 

He doesn't know if it is right for him to inform the lady that her husband just left her and is indifferent to her. 

The question is, what will hurt the lady the most. Is it the thought that her husband left her for another woman or the knowledge that he is indifferent to her.

I don't remember if Maugham informed her of his findings. I think he did not. He decided that it is more hurtful if the lady knew that her husband was indifferent to her than if she remains with the thought that her husband left her for another woman.

Fascinating...

Someone said, 'The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference'.

What a profound statement !!!

If you think that someone hates you, you feel that in the other person's mind, you are important enough for him / her to hate you. If someone hates you, obviously she is thinking about you. You are a part of her life, and you feel that you should mean something to the other person for her to hate you.

In a perverse way, you feel important, you feel happy.

But if the other person is indifferent to you, that is very hurtful. Obviously, in your mind you are important 'For Him' to have you in his life. But, the knowledge that he doesn't care about you enough to hate you? That can be depressing. 

Knowledge that a person hates you do not hurt as much as the knowledge that the person is indifferent. 

Indifference hurts.

AOL: The Art of Loneliness...

Depressed because you are feeling lonely? These quotes will help.

1. The loneliness you feel with the another person, the wrong person, is the loneliest of all.

2. Sometimes you have to stand alone just to make sure that you still can

3. The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself

4. Loneliness is the poverty of self. Solitude is the richness of self

5. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world

6. 'Loneliness' is the pain of being alone. 'Solitude' is the glory of being alone

7. Nothing can bring you peace but yourself

8. Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul. Isolation is what you crave for if you ignore the first.

9. I have never found a companion that is so companionable as solitude

Rule of thirds for happiness in life....

'Are You Happy?' --Jeffrey Selingo, Columnist and Author

"The advice came from Clint Williams, an editor at the paper. Near the end of the summer, many of the fellows were figuring out where to focus our job search or weighing job offers. Many of us didn’t know what to do next. What would make us happy?

Clint had a rule of thirds for happiness in life. He  told me to ask three questions: Are you happy with your job? Are you happy where you live? Are you happy who you’re with (depending on your circumstances that could mean friends, spouse, partner, etc). If you answer Yes to at least two out of three, you found your spot for the moment. If not, you need to make a change to one of them."

The Karna Metaphor...

Let me tell you about a great mystery of life...

People with great potential are not able to use their potential at critical junctures. While persons with significantly lower potential are able to focus their potential and achieve great victories.
A classic example is Vijay Amritraj. During his peak he was considered to be one of the top 5 best tennis players in the world. He regularly used to beat top players like Jimmy Connors and McEnroe in various ATP tournaments, but he never won a grandslam. 

Or take the case of Ivan Lendl. Considered arguably the greatest tennis player in his generation, he never won a Wimbledon. He reached the Semifinals or Finals of Wimbledon 7 times in his career without winning even once. 

Take the example of South Africa. Leading up to multiple World Cup Championship, they were THE team to beat in One Day internationals. But in crucial, winnable games in the World cup, they lost their way, often ending up being considered as 'Chokers'.

Why does this happen?

I am reminded of the Story of Karna in Mahabharata. 

Karna is considered to be the greatest character in Mahabharata. Spending his early years as the son of a Charioteer, Karna distinguished in various forms of warfare and was the greatest archer of his time. Early in his life, Karna had the ambition of learning the 'Brahmastra' mantra from the great sage Parasurama. However Parasurama was a sworn enemy of Kashtriyas (warrior class) and had declined to give training to Kashtriyas. Knowing that Parasurama trained only Brahmanas, Karna disguised as a Brahmana and asked Parasurama to teach him the Brahmastra mantra. Thinking that Karna was a Brahmana, Parasurama accepted him as his disciple.

One day Parasurama was sleeping with his head on Karna's lap. At that time, a bee came and started stinging Karna's lower thigh. Though it was severely painful and profusely bleeding, Karna was afraid that if he moved his legs, his master would wake up, and hence did not move his thighs and continued to suffer the pain and bleeding.

When Parasurama woke up, he found out what had happened. Knowing that Brahmanas could not suffer such pain and only Kashtriyas could suffer so much of pain, Parasurama confronted Karna and asked him to tell the truth. 

Karna told him the truth that he was not a Brahmana.
On hearing it, a furious Parasurama cursed him that, at the most crucial moment in his life, Karna will forget what he had learned from him. All the knowledge that Karna learned would be useless at a crucial point in his life where that knowledge is absolutely required.

This happened in Mahabharata war. At the crucial moment when he was fighting Arjuna, Karna forgot the Brahmastra mantra resulting in him getting killed by Arjuna.

Most of us are like Karna. We go about absorbing enormous amount of knowledge but at crucial situations which matter, we forget the knowledge, we get afraid to take that final step and hence we get results significantly below our potential.

Wasn't it Ellen DeGeneres who said, 'Human beings use only 10% of our brain power. Imagine what we can achieve if we use the remaining 60%'

Why am I saying this story now?

I know of a person who is very intelligent, knowledgeable and full of energy. It is obvious to others that he has significant potential but he is not effectively using it. The problem is that he is oblivious to his potential and the way in which he is wasting it.

One day, we were facing an issue and he was owning the issue. He did a good job of analysis, he  came up with multiple solutions. But exactly at a time when he had to take a decision on the final solution he caved. The final solution was obvious to all. But he lost his confidence (I think) and said that he wanted further analysis. Immediately, someone in the team took over and decided that we will go ahead with the solution. 

At that moment, when he caved, he ceded the turf to someone else. All the good work that he had put in will be forgotten. The only thing that will linger is the knowledge that someone else took the final decision and he caved when it mattered. 

This is Karna in action. This person had the knowledge, but at the time when he should have taken a decision, he lost his nerve and lost control of this issue.

Isn't there some Karna in all of us?

Three Inspirational Stories...

Here are three inspirational stories filled with wisdom. Coincidentally, all involve Professors

Story # 1: Weight of half glass of water

Professor came to the class, and, without saying anything filled a glass half full with water.

Students, all expectant to hear the eternal question about 'Glass half filled or half empty?' braced themselves.

'How much does this glass weigh?' asked the Prof.

How much does a glass half filled with water weigh? 'Two ounces' came one answer, 'five' piped another student.

'The weight of this glass depends on how much time you are going to hold the glass' said the wise Professor, 'You might not feel any weight if you hold this for a few minutes. But if you hold it for an hour, it will feel slightly heavy, and if you hold it for a day, it will be very heavy. Hold it for five days, and your hands will start aching and you will find it difficult to hold the glass.'

'Situations that create hurt and stress are like this half filled glass. If you keep it for a few moments, they will not hurt, but if you carry them with you throughout, they will start hurting you severely, making you ineffective'.

'So', said the professor throwing out the water through the window, 'throw out those stress inducing feelings and emotions before they can hurt you'.

Story # 2: Glass filled with Stones

Professor comes to the class, picks up a glass and fills it with some stones.

'Is this glass full?', he asks the class

'Yes', responds the class unanimously

Then he pours in a few small pebbles. The pebbles occupy the space between the stones.

'Do you think the glass is full now?', he queried

'Yes', answers the class a bit dubiously

The Professor goes on to fill the glass with sand. The small grains of sand fills the gap between the pebbles.

'Is the glass full now?', asks the Prof.

'Yes', the class is absolutely sure.

The Prof. goes on to pour a cup of coffee in the glass. 

'You see', says the Professor, 'this glass is an analogy for your life. The stones represent the things that are very important to you, like Values, Goals, Family, Friends, Work Life Balance, Hobbies etc. The pebbles represent those that are not as important as stones, but important nevertheless like your job, money etc. The sand represent the stuff that are the least important to you like checking the mail, updating face book status etc'.

'If you fill your life with lots of sand, you will not have any space for things that are important to you. So it is important for you to fill your life with 'Stones' and a few 'Pebbles', with minimal space for 'Sand'.

'What does 'Coffee' mean?', wondered the class.

'Oh, no matter how full your life is, there is always space for a cup of Coffee with your friends', the Professor replied.

Story # 3: Glasses of different colours

A group of friends met up for their 25th Class Reunion. Hearing that their venerated Professor lived nearby, they decided to pay him a courtesy visit.

The professor warmly welcomed them and all sat in the lounge over cups of coffee.

There were a number of cups set on the table. A few of them were beautiful cups, brightly coloured with very good designs and a few were bland white cups.

They all took the bright coloured cups and filled coffee and started drinking.

'Do you notice something?', said the Professor, 'all of you have chosen bright, designer  cups to drink your coffee. None of you have taken the bland, white cups.'

'However, what you are drinking, coffee, is what matters to you. The colour of the cups is just peripheral to the task of drinking coffee. But you instinctively chose the designer cups'.

'This is what happens in our lives too', Professor continued, 'What matters to us is the values we develop, the happiness that we earn as we progress in life, the strength of our families, the respect that we demonstrate to our parents, number of friends that we have, the valuable time that we spend with our kids as they grow up...'

'These are all important stuff', the Professor paused to let it sink in.

'But what do we focus on? We focus on making money, we focus on building beautiful bungalows, we focus on owning large amounts of property, we focus on our jobs...'

'These are all peripherals'.

'We focus on the peripherals, while missing the 'Coffee'. We work late at the office, on the latest deadline, while we miss our daughter's performance in the school play. We travel on 'Business' and miss our Spouses Birthday. We focus on finding faults with our near and dear while taking for granted the good things that they do for us day after day.'

'We pull our bed sheet tightly around us and miss the brilliant Sunrise that is welcoming us just outside our window'.

'It is important to identify the 'Coffee' in our lives and focus on them and the 'Designer Cups' in our lives and defocus on them', finished the Professor.

The Spring Transformation....

It is spring time here again in Bangalore...

Some of the trees have already shed their leaves and are adorned with new,glistening, green leaves. Some of them are already decked with brightly coloured flowers. There is a smell of spring all around.

Some of them woke up late. Like a passenger late for the train, they are frantically trying to catch up,  shedding their leaves at a furious pace, afraid of being left out of the show.

The other day, my car was parked under one such tree. When I came back after an hour, my car was literally flooded with brown leaves.

Watching nature reinventing itself, redecorating itself, shedding the old useless leaves to make way for new glowing ensemble, made me think. Year after year, like a clockwork, nature dresses up in Spring, attracts birds and bees that will help it 'spread its message' and finally, having completed its task, shed the old leaves and wear new ones.

I mean, isn't a lesson there? Shouldn't we all be like the nature? What about taking some tips from nature?

Starting from childhood, we pile up ourselves with bad habits. We go thru the motions of living, do not set any goals for ourselves, eat all those junk food, put on fat, sit ages in front of our PCs, Laptops, Tabs and mobiles, do not go out and play, don't have time to exercise, do not socialize, do not read good books, do not watch good movies, work and wear out ourselves, do not plan our tasks, do not set ourselves goals and targets, do not schedule...

Go thru the motions...

We blame ourselves, find faults with others, become ineffective in personal relationships.

Day by day, month by month, year by year, we let these bad habits pile up. 

All these bad habits take up our time and resource. Which means that they 'crowd out' good habits. Good habits need time to develop. And that is what is not available for us since all our time is taken up by bad habits.

Have you read a good book recently?
No man, I am so occupied.
When was the last time you complimented you colleague?
Are you crazy? What has she done to deserve a compliment? 
Want to watch Lincoln?
I am afraid I am busy.
Want to come to the garden and smell flowers?
You mad? I would rather update my status on Facebook....

Shouldn't we take some lessons from nature? Shouldn't we all have our spring cleaning? Shouldn't we have our own 'Personal Spring' season, where we identify and shed bad habits and let new habits develop?  

Our ancestors, those dudes who lived in the era of 'handwritten letters' and 'newspapers' and 'going to bank to withdraw cash' and 'waiting in line for making a long distance call' realized this. They realized that people should dedicate some time every year to remove clutter from their environment and their minds. That is why they brought in the concept of 'Spring Cleaning'. 

It is time that we adopted the concept of Spring Cleaning. Let us identify at least one bad habit and try to rid ourselves of that. Have a time-bound program. Remember, nature has a window of about two months between Winter and Summer to remove the dead leaves and bring in new bright ones. Here are some of the lessons that we can learn from nature when it comes to getting rid of bad habits.

1. Identify your bad habits: Every year, the nature only sheds its dead leaves, The roots, the stem, the branches are all left untouched. Just like nature, you also identify the bad habits that you want to shed.

2. Identify a good habit to replace a bad habit with: This is a very important step. Nature doesn't just shed old leaves and say ' I am done. I have removed all the bad leaves. Now I do not have to do anything.'.  It continues the process by replacing the dead leaves with brand new leaves. For every bad habit that you want to shed, identify a good habit to replace it with.  

3. Shed bad habits completely and thoroughly: Nature do not do a half-baked job. Come spring and ALL the bad leaves fall and new good leaves comes in their place. Just like nature, if you identify a bad habit, shed it completely.

4. Have a time bound plan: Nature binds itself to a fixed time window in which to shed the old leaves and bring in new ones in their place. Just like nature have a time-bound plan, have a very clear time window in which to relieve you of bad habits.

5. Consistency is the key: Nature is anything if not consistent.Every year, around mid-January, the leaves start shedding and by mid of March, the old leaves are replaced with new ones. Just like nature, once you start shedding bad habits, do it consistently, stick to a fixed time window, have a fixed start date and a fixed end date ans stick to it year after year. 

6. Replace bad habits with good habits: This is important. Nature doesn't just shed old leaves, it replaces old leaves with new. Similarly, once you give up a bad habit, it is very important to fill up the available time with a new habits. It has to go hand in hand. I see many people make the mistake of working on removing their bad habits without devoting enough time to replace it with good habits. Without this replacement, you will end up replacing one bad habit with another bad habit. It doesn't help at all. Bad habits and good habits are like left hand and right hand. They go together.
Struggling to start a new habit? This might help

7. Shed one bad habit at a time. Nature do not wake up one sudden day and shed all the leaves at one go. The leaves are shed one leaf at a time. Similarly, you also have to shed one habit at a time and eliminate it completely. 

8. Be aware of the external dependencies: As spring approaches, nature knows that it is time to shed the leaves and adorn a new look. Somewhere else, the birds and the bees also knows that in another two months, the nature's renewal will be completed signalling them to start their activities. They wait patiently for nature to complete its tasks. The trees do not see the birds, The birds do not see any specific tree. But both know that they are dependent on each other. They instinctively know that there is a mutually beneficial relationship between them which will commence once the nature completes its 'Spring Cleaning'. Just like that there is something out there which is patiently waiting for you to shed your bad habit to bless you with abundance of richness and growth and personal happiness. But, you have to initiate the process. The blessings will not come to to you till you shed the bad habits. If you do not shed the bad habits? Well, the blessings, help and support will flow to those who take the time to do that. 

Tell me what other lessons that you learn from observing trees shedding their leaves in Spring. I would love to hear your views.

Paradox at the Gym...

They say ‘You can’t do the same thing again and again and expect different results’.

I say ‘Boo’.

I say that two people can do the exact same thing day after day and expect different results. And it is perfectly logical.

Take the example of two protagonists. Let us call one of them Laxman. I don’t know his name. For all I know his name may be Ravi, Aditya, Tejas... anything. (Not Humberto or Moreno or Jaime Toro. These are South American names. Laxman is Indian). We are calling him Laxman.

Why are we calling him Laxman?

Because, the name of the other protagonist is Ram. When Ram is there, can Laxman be far behind?

How do I know that the name of other protagonist is Ram? Because, it is me. I am the other protagonist. And I am reasonably certain that my name is Ram.

I hear you asking, ‘When are you going to make your b....y point?’

Here go I.

Both Ram and Laxman go to the same Gym. Both joined the Gym on the same day, almost at the same time (like a pair of twins, I can't stop once I start). Both of them have the same trainer.

Both the protagonists follow the same schedule. Monday is for back muscles, Tuesday is for biceps, Wednesday is for Chest muscles, Everyday is for body ache...

Etc.

Both Ram and Laxman are Exercise partners. They alternate the same exercise between sets. For example, Ram does a set of 15 biceps exercise with dumbbells weighing 5 kg each and once he completes, he hands over the dumbbells to Laxman to do the same thing.

Or Laxman does 15 push-ups and then Ram does 15 push-ups.

Or...

You get the point. Both alternatively do the same exercise for exactly the same number of times.

For an hour this goes on. Like a pair  of butterflies flitting from one flower to another, or (if you didn't like that one) like a pair of synchronized gymmers Ram and Laxman flit from one dumbbell to another.

Or tango dancers...

You take your simile.

Finally the fruits of the labour. Both stand on the weighing scale to check their weight.

This is where things become interesting.

Ram looks at his weight (it is a digital scale), and thinks ‘It is almost a month. It is torture to get up in the morning in this winter cold and come to this gym and take all these pains. My objective was to reduce my weight. But it looks as if my weight is remaining the same. Why is my weight not reducing? How will I know that I am not wasting my time? Oh my god, am I wasting my time?’

Ram freaks out.

And what about Laxman? He looks at his weight and thinks, ‘It is almost a month. It is a punishment to get up in the morning in this winter cold and come to this gym and take all these pains. My objective was to increase my weight. But it looks as if my weight is remaining the same. Why is my weight not increasing? How will I know that I am not wasting my time? Oh my god, am I wasting my time?’

Laxman freaks out.

You see. Same action. Expectation of different results. If my trainer is to be believed, both of us will achieve our objectives.

As Laxman put it so succinctly, ‘Vice Versa works in life’.

The point is  this. Both are going to the gym expecting the results that they want. But what if ‘They’ (I mean, the people who made that statement in the first line of this article) are right and one of them (either Ram or Laxman) is wrong? What if Laxman is right? What if going to the gym will increase the weight. Then Ram would have lost his sleep, taken all these body pains (for instance, today morning he couldn't feel the lower part of his hand, it was almost as if there was ‘maya’ or weightlessness between his elbow and (his) palm.) and would have got results exactly counter to his objectives.

It is scary.

But, wait a minute. What if Ram is right? What if his objectives are achieved? What if going to gym will ‘really’ reduce weight (Ram is relishing the thought). Then Laxman will look silly. As such he looks thin as a reed. One month down, he is going to look like and emaciated reed. Boy, won't he look ridiculous.

That one thought should keep Ram going to the gym.

Right now, I being Ram, is licking my lips at the thought. 

PC Jewellers Ad...

I have a bone to pick with many of the ads that they show on TV.

One of the prime candidate for bone picking is the PC Jewellers Ad...

Oooh, don't I dislike the ad?

Remember it?

The ad goes somewhat like this..

Daughter is looking at the marriage album of her parents. In one photo, she asks 'Ye Kaun Hai?'

Mom replies, 'Yeh aap ka papa hai. Ek din aap ko bhi aisa raajkumar milega'.

Hearing this the father says in a worried tone, 'Kaise milega? Sone ka bhav din prati din badte jaa raha hai?

Mom says 'Tension mat lo. PC Jewellers hai na? Unke scheme chal rahi hai. Barah Kisthe denge hum, do Kisthe denge PCJ'

(Translation: 

Daughter is looking at the marriage album of her parents. In one photo, she asks 'Who is this?'

Mom replies, 'This is your daddy. One day, you will also get a prince like this'.

Hearing this the father says in a worried tone, 'How is it possible? The price of gold is going up by the day'

Mom says 'Don't get stressed. PC Jewellers is there no? They have a scheme going on. We will pay Twelve instalments, PCJ will pay two.' )

I dislike this ad at multiple levels. On the one hand, I dislike the stereotyping. A worried father, A daughter as a liability who has got to be married off. On the other hand, I dislike the overall negative tone of the message.  

As a man, I dislike the idea of a dumb father who is worrying, but is being comforted by his knowledgeable wife. Ooh, I have a daughter, I don't know how I am going to get her married, OMG, the gold prices are sky-rocketing  what will I do? What will I do?

Come on...Don't tell me that he did not know of the offer from PCJ. This ad has been going on everywhere for so many days? Despite this he did not know about this offer? Sounds implausible to me. Tell me, how did his wife know?. Of course, from the TV, stupid. And she did not inform him that this offer is going on? No sir, there is no way that the father did not know of this offer. He is simply bluffing, probably to keep his wife on her toes. It stands to reason that if the father is so worried about getting his daughter married, he will definitely know of the offer from the jeweller. It is like, if you are thinking of buying a red car, you will notice all the red cars on the road, and some off the road too.

Men may be dumb. They are not dumb as much.

That is stereotype one right there. A worried father, worried about the price of gold.

The second stereotype in that ad is the depiction of daughter as a cause of tension, as an object that has got to be married off at some time in future. Oh, come on, don't tell me this. The family looks reasonably middle class, and by looking at what is going on out there, the girl will end up being an air line pilot, a fashion designer, an anesthesiologist or a NASA (See how I am not talking about ISRO? Subtle...) scientist. She can earn enough and more to buy all the gold in the world. So why using the stupid stereotype of a girl child as a responsibility? 

And now coming to the content.

Who are you targeting in this ad. In most of the  Indian families, the target audience of gold purchase is invariably women. They are the drivers (except when they are being driven to the jewellery shop) of gold purchase in literally every Indian household. One has to just go to the nearby jewellery shop to see what I am talking about. The store will be teeming with animated, excited, voluble women (much like the gaggle of girls in the 'Lays Baked Chips Ad), walking around, admiring the necklace, vying for the attention of the salesperson and generally having a fun time.

And the hubbies? 

They will be sitting there with a bored, 'women will be women' look in their eyes, ogling at the pretty ladies in the shop, and you can even see a few unromantic souls trying to complete the Sudoku puzzle in the newspaper. The more excited their spouses get, the more worried they will become.

So, which target audience should the ad have targeted? Of course, the women. And what did it target? the worried man. 

Secondly, why this negative thrust? In every family, buying gold is a fun filled activity. The planning starts quite early and people get up in the morning, have their bath, say prayers to Goddess Lakshmi, before they go to purchase gold. Even the discussion about gold purchase is positive and exciting. And this ad puts a wet blanket of the whole discussion.

So what is the outcome?

An ad which could have ended up as a positive and uplifting presentation, ended up being bashed about in the social media for its negative stereotyping. Especially in the current environment where there is a national outcry against women stereotyping, this ad ended up doing just that.

The times are far ahead of this ad.