Parental Bonding

Lying in my bed in Bogota the other night, I was missing my family. I decided that I have to spend quality time with my son and try to bond with him more.

Not wanting to procrastinate, the next day I called home and started the 'bonding' business in right earnest.

"So Aditya, how are you?"

"Fine"

"How is your school?"

"Fine"

"How are your friends?"

"Fine"

"What are you doing now?"

"Nothing"

"Are you playing a lot?"

"Yes"

"Did you do your homework?"

"Yes"

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"No"

I shot my bolt. 'Over the phone bonding' was obviously passe. I had to start again after I reached home two days later.

With such a taciturn kid, it was difficult to identify the appropriate 'bonding' ambience. I saw the 'bonding' opportunity the other day when we were having lunch.

"I know how to get all the three badges in Pokemon." He informed to no one in particular.

I felt that this was the bonding opportunity that I was looking for. What could be a better way to bond than to show him that I am also interested in his 'specialized areas'.

"How?" asked I. A curious father, if you see what I mean.

The kid started off like a TGV or something.

"From Palla town, go to Veredian City. In Ceredian city, go to Veradian forest. Here you will see three paths. Take the first path, this will take you to Vermillion City. There you go to HM01 and give a cut and a flash. The animal like figure will turn into human form and give you a pokemon. Now you go cross the underground path and go to Digglet town. Here you will see a pokemon center. You have to get your pokemon healed.

Then you come out of the pokemon center, cross the Digglet town, cross the underground path and come back to Vermillion city. Here you take the third path. You will see a buttsha and also you can get picachoo and other pokemons. Here you have the option of going either to Lavendar town or to teach your pokemon the fire trick. It is very difficult to teach a pokemon the fire trick, but you can't get a badge if your pokemon do not learn fire trick. Now you will come across a ship which will open when you show the cut and flash you received in the first path......

This started at lunch, continued thru dinner and the last I know of he is yet to get his first badge.
He also told me to sit with him so that he can show me how to get a badge. I am now thinking of my next onsite assignment.

Guys and Ladies, better learn this language. This is going to be the language of future generation.
If you can't, then go onsite.......

How should you play a game?

I had played a TT match in our office and lost. I thought I will share with my son Aditya the lessons that I learned from the loss.
"Before starting the game itself, I thought that I will lose the game. Thoughts are very powerful and they guide our actions. Since I had already decided that I was going to lose, I played to lose the game" I told him, very pleased with myself having imparted this wisdom.
"Do you know why you lost?" he asked me.
"Because I had decided that I will lose?" I was little bit surprised at his question.
"You lost because you were very focusing on thinking about losing while your opponent was focusing on playing the game."
Now I am not sure who delivered the wisdom.

Of birds and bees

My 8 year old son asks me "How are babies born?"
I know that when he asks such questions, he usually has an answer already.
"How?" I ask him
"Father and mother fall in love . Woman produces an egg and the man produces something called 'sp...' something. This meets the egg and a baby is created. The baby lies inside mother for 9 months and after that the baby is born."
"Wow!!" I am speechless.
"Did you know this?" he asks me.
I pose a counter. "Where did you learn this?"
"In the encyclopedia, under 'Know your body' section. They were mentioning about man and woman making love. I am sure it is a mistake. How can you make love? Is it some physical thing like bus or car that you can make?"
I am still speechless.
The other day we see a pregnant sheep on the road.
"How do animals have babies?" this kid has some curiosity.
I am relieved. He already knows about sperm and egg and all those embarassing stuff. I don't have to start at the beginning.
"Just like men have children. Sperm meets the egg and a baby is created. It stays in a sheep's womb for 3 months or so. And then baby comes out". I think I broke the record of the fastest speech.
My son has the final word. "How can sheep fall in love?"

How do you define a pampered child?

Asked my 8 year old son, 'How do you define a pampered child?'
'If the child listens to the parents, he is a normal child, but if parents listen to him he is a pampered child'
'Are you a pampered child?'
'Yes I am'
'Why?'
'Because whenever I want something, and you don't give me, I cry. And then you give me that.'
In terms of management jargon, the kid just divulged his competive advantage.
Little does he know!!!!

Why 'Man'goes?

Asked my son, why mangoes are called 'man'goes and not 'woman'goes? (Yes I do ask him such questions...)
His reply, because mango is the 'King' of fruits and not the 'Queen' of fruits.